A to Z Challenge 2016

‘X’ is X-Factor – Do you have it? YES YOU DO!

April 27, 2016
x factor



When I think of the X-Factor the television series pops into my mind.  The contestants are all vying for the position of who has the ‘X- Factor’, the ‘Wow factor’ that makes us sit up and take notice of them.  I’m talking about that certain pizazz that ‘je ne sais quoi’ that makes us special and individual.

Most of us probably haven’t thought about whether we have this ‘X-Factor quality’ and I’m sure if I asked you ‘Do you have the X-Factor?’ your answer would be a resounding ‘NO” followed by laughter.

It has certainly taken me until midlife to even think about it let alone try to discover if I have it.

It really is all about our Attitude!

When you are at a party do you notice who stands out in the crowd?  They may not be the most beautiful or glamorous person in the room but they have an aura that people are drawn to.  Their qualities shine through.  It might be their smile, or their energy or their attitude.  They are open and honest and aren’t trying to be something that they are not.

Try this exercise

  • Name 3 qualities your friends love about you.
  • Now a harder one – name 3 qualities you love about yourself.

You see, it is all about how you perceive yourself and the level of self love you have.  If you don’t love yourself how do you expect others to? 

We need to learn to value ourselves and not to try and compete with others.Click To Tweet

We all have something that is special and unique and we need to promote that rather than trying to put on a mask.  When we try to pretend it shows  in our body language.  People can tell we aren’t comfortable and that we are trying too hard to impress.

Learn to Love yourself

Learn to Love Yourself

Now I know this is easy to say and for some of us it is nigh on impossible because we have been brought up in a society where we ‘don’t toot our own horn’ because we might appear to be seen as vain.

In my post How Learning to Love Yourself Will Make You A Better Person, I talk about how as women we are plagued by the feeling of never being good enough.  Never measuring up to some perceived ideal.  The surprising thing is that the way others perceive us is sometimes so totally different to the way we see ourselves.

We are our own worst critic and because of this we can’t enjoy our life and be happy.Click To Tweet

Time to change!  So try this Exercise

Look deeply inside and be honest with yourself.

Why don’t you think you are good enough? 

Why don’t you think you have the ‘X Factor’? 

What do you love about your life?

It will be hard, no one really likes being honest with themselves, but write these answers down.

Now look at your answers and read through my post How Learning to Love Yourself Will Make You a Better Person.  In the post I list 6 ways to start learning to love yourself TODAY!


So Be confident, hold your head high and show the world you’ve got the X-Factor.Click To Tweet



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  • Reply Jeffrey Scott April 27, 2016 at 21:04

    This is a hard one for me, because I have a hard time seeing much value in myself. Sad but true.
    But to the very core, I think my friends like me because i’m a loyal friend, I have a great sense of humour and I have a kind disposition, i.e. patient, tolerant and forgiving.
    Unfortunately, I also think from time to time, people take advantage of that. Not my true hardcore friends, but some people.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 28, 2016 at 14:34

      Don’t lose that sense of humour Jeffrey – it is in short supply these days! Have a fabulous week and thank you for stopping by to comment each day I truly appreciate it.

  • Reply Random Musings April 27, 2016 at 23:11

    I know I don’t have the X-factor the TV is looking for – I can’t sing to save my life! I do agree with everything in this post, loving yourself is so important to being happy and confident, and it’s so true what you said – how can you expect anyone else to love you if you don’t love yourself. I have written several posts about this sort of thing myself

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 28, 2016 at 14:35

      Hi Debbie, I can’t sing to save myself although my 2 year old grandson appreciates my voice! It has taken me 50 odd years to learn to love and value myself and now that I do I’ve never felt happier. Thank you for stopping by and have a beautiful day.

  • Reply Kala Ravi April 28, 2016 at 00:57

    Very true Sue, we tend to procrastinate too much. Feeling good about oneself automatically boosts the morale and thus others too perceive your positive traits more easily. It really is a simply thing to start with! Loved this post Sue!
    @KalaRavi16 from

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 28, 2016 at 14:36

      Hi Kala! Thanks so much for your lovely words and I’m so pleased you enjoyed the post. Have a great day and see you for ‘Y”

  • Reply Leanne@crestingthehill April 28, 2016 at 15:39

    We’re soooo good at listing our flaws, and so unbelievably poor at acknowledging the parts of us that shine. I was told by two different people (with no ulterior motives – see there is my disclaimer!) that “I have a smile that lights up a room” What a wonderful thing to say but so hard to believe. I need to work on this area a lot 🙂 Leanne @ cresting the hill

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 28, 2016 at 16:27

      You do have a gorgeous smile and yes I know how you feel – we can’t see ourselves as others see us. I haven’t met you face to face but I know you are a beautiful person inside and out because of the way you write. I’m so glad we met.xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 28, 2016 at 16:33

      I know Leanne we just can’t see in ourselves what others see in us. I haven’t met you face to face but I do know you are a beautiful woman inside and out because I can see it in your writing. I hope we meet one day in person and I’m so glad we met via the blogosphere. xx

  • Reply Deepti Agrawal April 28, 2016 at 16:20

    True Sue.. we need to love the person we are to make us better …


    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 28, 2016 at 16:30

      thank you Deepti it has been a pleasure reading your comments each day.

  • Reply Jeanne Insalaco April 28, 2016 at 23:41

    I’m def my own worst critic. I’ve always wished I could be more comfortable in settings, but I tend to hang in the background. The camera is always in my hand as I hate having my photo taken. Great post.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 29, 2016 at 08:38

      We all are our own worst critic Jeanne – you aren’t alone feeling that way. We just need to build our confidence and believe what others say about us when they compliment us. Try being in front of the camera and have a lovely day!

  • Reply Kalpanaa April 29, 2016 at 16:16

    I love this post. I’m going to work on the exercise on three things I love about myself. Three things my friends love about me is that I’m generous with my time and offering a shoulder to cry on, I’m always laughing and making people laugh, and I tell great stories.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 30, 2016 at 17:04

      Oh I’d love to hear back from you Kalpanaa with the three things you love about you! Keep in touch x

  • Reply Debbie Rodrigues April 30, 2016 at 00:11

    It’s fun how we neglect finding positive in us, isn’t it?
    Great reminder, Sue!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 30, 2016 at 17:15

      I know Deb it is very common.

  • Reply Mary Hill May 1, 2016 at 00:38

    Thank you. I needed this stage today. I need to value myself more.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 2, 2016 at 15:43

      Hi Mary, I always feel so good when people tell me that my post has come at just the right time. You do need to value yourself and remember how special you are. xx

  • Reply Kathleen May 1, 2016 at 14:34

    A great reminder Sue. It would probably be amazing what we could do if we had a big dose of self-confidence. Do they make a supplement that we could take. (I don’t mean the illegal ones LOL)

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 2, 2016 at 15:47

      Yes that would be great wouldn’t it Kathleen a supplement to make us feel great about ourselves – perhaps a marketing opportunity?? LOL:)

  • Reply Horace@pleasingtothePotter.com May 2, 2016 at 08:27

    What an inspiring and thought provoking post Sue! Thank you or sharing. I believe if we can make it a practice to see that we do have value, we live more productive and positive lives. it is easy for us to focus on our flaws but God loves us and chose us to live for his purpose. When I remind myself of that, a smile comes over me and I thank Him for the opportunities that He has blessed me with. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring post. Have a wonderful week and blessings to you and yours!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 2, 2016 at 15:50

      Hi Horace! Thank you for your lovely words and I hope you have a wonderful week also. Take carex

  • Reply gigi May 3, 2016 at 02:26

    The “name three things” could also be used to help a friend discover the “X Factor” you see in her!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 3, 2016 at 09:38

      Oh that’s a great idea Gigi! You are talented, have a gorgeous sunny smile and a beautiful soul. xx

  • Reply Blogging From A To Z 2016 Experience #FridayReflections - Write Tribe July 22, 2017 at 16:31

    […] My favourite post was ‘X’ is for X-Factor – Do you have it? Yes you do! […]

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