Over 50 & Thriving Series Over 50s Lifestyle

Why you need the T.H.R.I.V.E. Qualities in your life

July 12, 2018
Why you need the T.H.R.I.V.E. Qualities

Do you know what it takes to Thrive?  Each week I am reminded of how Women Over 50 are full of wisdom and inspiration.  My Over 50 & Thriving Guest series, continues to surprise me with new learnings from women, like myself, who are embracing this wonderful time of life.

This week’s guest is someone I met during the AtoZ Blogging Challenge back in April, so I’ve only connected to her for a short time.  Deborah Weber, from Temenos of the Blessing Light, is a person who is full of love and joy.  You can feel it in her writing and also in her passion to help others find love and joy in their life.  Please connect with Deborah through the links at the end of her post.

In her contribution to the Thrive series, Deborah explains why we need certain qualities in our life to thrive – the T.H.R.I.V.E. Qualities.

Why you need the T.H.R.I.V.E. Qualities

I could talk about flourishing endlessly, and so I was delighted when Sue invited me to contribute to her series on thriving. It is in a sense what my work is all about, and what I see as a mission in life for all of us. Since I’m also quite fond of words and word play, I thought perhaps I’d approach this topic with an acrostic of thrive and the qualities I think are important.



Being true to who you really are seems obvious, and yet I find so many people struggle with this. They bend themselves in all manner of pretzel shapes trying to be what they believe others want them to be; what is deemed socially acceptable; how they think they should be/believe/act. With each thing we take on that’s not truly ourselves, or each thing we keep hidden, untapped or denied that truly is us, it’s as though the inner core light gets dimmed, diminished, or even goes out altogether.

I believe we are all wildly beautiful and gorgeously eccentric, and that we not only need to own that about ourselves and unwaveringly express it, but also encourage and celebrate such expression in others as well. I love very much what Rumi wished for: “I want to unfold. I don’t want to stay folded anywhere, because where I am folded, there I am a lie.”


To be heart-based means a couple of things to me. I believe loving-kindness and compassion are crucial and that the world and all its creatures are increasingly in need of being met this way. But I also believe that our hearts are our unerring compasses and that when we listen to and follow their direction we are well-guided. I love the simple practice of taking a moment, putting my hand on my heart, and taking a couple of slow deep breaths.

It brings me back into the present, centered, and fully connected once again. I often think of my heart as a lotus bowl, holding the pure spark of me, holding it safely so it can be fanned, and amplifying the light so it can radiate widely. I want to be part of a world where we all feel free to shine our hearts. After all, as Ram Dass so beautifully reminds us: “We’re all just walking each other home.”


On the surface reciprocity certainly has to do with giving and receiving, but for me it holds a lot of teaching about balance. If we give too much, or take too much, we are out of balance and our lives show it. Thousands of times a day we have access to a simple and profound reminder – breathing. Inhalation – exhalation – the moment between. Breathing in and receiving; briefly holding that breath and having; and then releasing and giving.

For me that’s exactly what Reciprocity is about: receiving-having-giving. We live in a society which strives to make everything straight-forwardly transactional, urging us to keep track and demand tit-for-tat interactions. I think this is unfortunate and a senseless limitation that misses the expansiveness of what is truly going on.

There is a gift in knowing that as you touch something, you are touched. I think Mary Oliver speaks perfectly about reciprocity – “Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”


I believe we are each powerful Luminous Beings with an unimagined capacity for love and creation. While I don’t expect everyone to share my beliefs, I see the energies of empowerment all around us. What world are we going to create? The world each one of us wants to live in exists as a potential within each and every one of us. We have to step into that knowing.

We have to step into the power of wayshowers leading the way of merging heart and mind. Of choosing love over fear. Of anchoring unity rather than more separation. I absolutely embrace my self-named role as an Ambassador of love and light. I truly believe that the world is filled with goodness and we can encourage the growth and unfolding of it.

We can nurture our hearts, we can love one another, and we can help those in need. We can be agents of positive change, of transformation, and of anchored light. Rob Brezsny offers this rallying cry, and it is one I thoroughly endorse: “We are dissident bodhisattvas rebelling against all those forces that feed fear and ignore love.”


One of the perspectives I hold is my understanding that all things are vibrational – each thing has a unique energy “signature.” We in our entirety – our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies – are made up of a series of frequencies, and these frequencies form a harmonic and balanced whole when we are healthy, happy, and aligned with our highest path and purpose.

We’re always attuning to the vibrations around us, just as we’re always emitting our own vibration. When we’re conscious of ourselves as vibrational beings we can begin transforming ourselves. We can deliberately introduce those vibrations we want to align with into our own fields of energy. Shift the energy and it opens the way so that things around you can change as well.

I think it’s important we remain conscious, intentional, oriented to the well-being that is our true state, and committed to holding and radiating the highest vibrations we can in every moment, so we can add to the collective well-being of all. I am quite fond of this wisdom from Rumi: “The soul has been given its own ears to hear things the mind does not understand.”


Things are always changing; that’s a constant of life. I like to think it’s a continual invitation to grow into our wholeness. I often say I like to keep my feet on the joy trail, yet I’m no Pollyanna – I know we all have our share of challenges and wobbles, sadness and hard, both personally and collectively.

But I whole-heartedly believe we’re responsible for how we meet the world and the energy we put out there. And in this time of so much fear-mongering, separation consciousness, and service-to-self in the collective, I think it’s especially important we all do our best to contribute to making the world a kinder, gentler, more compassionate place for all beings.

With each moment, with each cycle, with each lifetime we have the opportunity to spiral into new arrangements of understanding. And I think an important question to consider always is: How am I preventing myself from living my life the way I want and creating the world I want to see? I take Maya Angelou’s admonishment to heart: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” We are ever evolving and that’s how it should be.

So there you have it – my perspectives about thriving. I’d love to hear what you think.

Meet Deborah

I’m Deborah Weber, a messenger and illuminary, an encourager of soulfulness, and a beholder of beauty and the sacred everywhere. I live in Chicago, where I’m always invoking the energies of radical joy, deep connection, exponential love, boundless creativity, powerful peace, and lush blossoming. I love flowers and poetry, listening and laughter; and I believe we all carry gifts and treasures, and when we live our lives in ways that allow their clear expression, it’s nothing less than wonderful.

Connect with Deborah

Website: https://deborah-weber.com
Blog:    https://deborah-weber.com/blog
FB:       https://www.facebook.com/TemenosOfTheBlessingLight/
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/deborahaweber/



Why you need the T.H.R.I.V.E. Qualities


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If you are Over 50 and would like to contribute to the Over 50 & Thriving Series, I would love to hear from you. Send me an email at sue@womenlivingwellafter50.com.au and I can provide more details.
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  • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au July 12, 2018 at 21:43

    Deborah I loved your approach to tackling Sue’s Thrive guest post challenge. You took it to a completely different sphere and it was really fun to read such a positive and encouraging take on the subject. I completely agree that thriving is about becoming our best, authentic self and then radiating that out to those we encounter. I think your final question “How am I preventing myself from living my life the way I want and creating the world I want to see?” is one we all need to consider on a regular basis.

    Thanks for sharing Deborah’s thoughts with us Sue – it was a really engaging post 🙂

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 12, 2018 at 22:16

      Thanks for your kind words Leanne. I love this series of Sue’s – it’s a delight to see the myriad of takes on what thriving means to different folks. And what more fun (and important) project is there than devoting time and energy to figuring out how to optimize our own thriving?

      • Reply Sue Loncaric July 13, 2018 at 06:20

        I am thrilled that each guest has taken a different approach to help each of us Thrive. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed bringing the series to everyone and also learning from you all. Thanks Deborah and Leanne for being my guests and contributing wise words. 🙂

        • Reply Irene Lucas July 19, 2018 at 04:02

          Deborah–Thank you for your refreshing and vibrant approach to THRIVE– your love of life and exuberance inspire and encourage us all to allow and sort of relax into these precious energies you describe and identify. Your sharing about loving kindness and compassion as so crucial and the idea of energy signatures re-opens my heart to more closely be the person I am, and also inspires me to, dare I say, flow with change. Indeed you are a wonderful messenger and illuminary, and how delightful and courageous of you to behold the sacred every where you look–and to see it all reflected as sacred back to you, beautiful soul! Let’s get on board, everyone, with Deborah’s THRIVE–the world needs our loving kindness and compassion this very moment!

          • Deborah Weber July 19, 2018 at 04:53

            Oh Irene, your enthusiasm and concurrence lights up my heart. I love how clearly you understand we’re all in this together, and together we can make an exponentially larger difference. May we all, always, be agents of thriving, and abundantly spread loving kindness and compassion in our wake.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 13, 2018 at 06:17

      I enjoyed Deborah’s approach to the topic as well, Leanne. That is what I’m loving about my series – each guest writing from a different perspective and also the learnings I’m taking away from all of you wise women. 🙂

  • Reply Deborah Weber July 12, 2018 at 22:01

    Thanks for the lovely invitation to post my thoughts on thriving Sue!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 13, 2018 at 06:17

      It is my pleasure, Deborah! I love how each of my guests are presenting this topic in different ways. Thank you for taking part and have a beautiful day 🙂

  • Reply Janet Mary Cobb July 12, 2018 at 22:15

    Deborah – thank you for the thought-provoking post. I totally appreciate the Maya Angelou quote — my version is ‘We cannot judge yesterday’s decisions with the grace and wisdom of today.’ Also, happy to meet someone in the blog-sphere in Chicago!

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 12, 2018 at 22:44

      I really like your version Janet! I think it’s important to acknowledge we are, as life is, dynamic and ever-changing. And as we show up as our most current self, on our leading edge, there is only room for discernment of what is right for us now.

      It’s a genuine delight to be connecting from Chicago!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 13, 2018 at 06:19

      Hi Janet, love your version of the quote, it is so true. Wouldn’t it be nice for you and Deborah to connect, perhaps IRL. Have a great week and enjoy! 🙂

      • Reply Janet Mary Cobb July 13, 2018 at 09:54

        Thanks Sue. Yes – perhaps Deborah and I shall meet one day IRL – and support one another in our efforts to THRIVE!

  • Reply Debbie July 13, 2018 at 01:55

    I enjoyed reading your insightful words Deborah and appreciated your explanations. I agree we should be as authentic as possible and believe as we get older this becomes easier. I look forward to reading more of your work. From one Deborah to another. ?

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 13, 2018 at 03:16

      Thanks for your kind words Debbie. I agree with you that one of the gifts of growing older is the sense of ease that can come from being authentically our true selves. I sometimes think of it as becoming pure, refined, and concentrated – free of all the dross that just isn’t ours to carry.

  • Reply Candi Randolph July 13, 2018 at 08:05

    I agree that it’s so important be true to ourselves and not go through life trying to be something that we’re not. Fortunately I’ve learned to do this as I have gotten older. It makes life much more satisfying! Thanks for an inspirational post, Deborah

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 13, 2018 at 13:03

      I always feel like celebrating when someone tells me they’ve settled into their true self Candi. I think there are all sorts of pressures, both internal and collective, that can lead us to believe we need to different/better/other versions of ourselves. But if we aren’t planted firmly on our true foundation it’s so easy for all manner of things to get wobbly.

  • Reply Debbie July 13, 2018 at 16:51

    I really enjoyed reading Deborah’s ideas and her interesting explanations. Thanks to you both for sharing such inspiring words and thoughts. From one Deborah to another!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 14, 2018 at 05:57

      Hi Debbie, I loved the idea behind Deborah’s post and again something different for the Over 50 & Thriving series. x

  • Reply susan scott July 13, 2018 at 17:42

    Thanks Sue, for Deborah’s post on THRIVE. Each letter and its unfolding rang so true. Her statement towards the end is powerful and one we can each practice. “But I whole-heartedly believe we’re responsible for how we meet the world and the energy we put out there. And in this time of so much fear-mongering, separation consciousness, and service-to-self in the collective, I think it’s especially important we all do our best to contribute to making the world a kinder, gentler, more compassionate place for all beings”. Thank you Deborah!

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 13, 2018 at 22:24

      I’m glad you found resonance in my words Susan. I absolutely believe that we each have the power to make a difference. And I have to say it’s certainly a delight to find myself in the presence of kind, gentle, and compassionate kindred community.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 14, 2018 at 06:00

      Hi Susan thanks for stopping by to leave a comment and I’m so happy to be presenting such wise and interesting women in the Over 50 & Thriving series. I agree that we all need to contribute to make the world a better place and i know I want that for my grandchildren. x

  • Reply Sandra Taylor July 13, 2018 at 20:52

    beautifully put deborah –
    be true
    listen to our hearts and follow the love.
    a teacher / law woman tells us you have two hands- one is for receiving and one is for giving so keep them in balance girls,
    as luminous beings it is ours to heal with the light
    I do think we are responsible for the vibrations we make and as we realise this .. intent becomes a powerful driver of our inner transformation
    change change change always in all ways
    bless you deborah most beautiful and Sue thank you , a lovely bringing together of women and wisdom

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 13, 2018 at 23:08

      The poetry of your thoughts always moves my heart Sandra. I’m particularly struck by your understanding of vibrational awareness as a driver for our inner transformation. I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to express that quite so cogently. The gift of a poet cutting right to the point – thank you!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 14, 2018 at 06:02

      Hello Sandra and thank you for taking the time to visit and leave a comment. I am always excited to introduce each of my guests who are contributing to the Over 50 & Thriving series, as each one has a different but wise take on life. Have a beautiful weekend and enjoy! xx

  • Reply Ally Bean July 13, 2018 at 22:12

    Well, you know I’m going to agree 100% with you, Deborah. The acronym is great and one that I’m going to add to what I call My Toolbox For Life. I’m currently focused on {fixated on?] V. My own to some degree, but also the ways in which people who I know are out of control, sending out crazy vibrations now– perhaps not even realizing it.

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 13, 2018 at 23:32

      A Toolbox For Life is a wonderful thing Ally. Paying attention to subtle energy and vibrations really IS a fascinating lens of perception. We really aren’t taught, or in fact encouraged, to use this awareness, and hence I think many people really are unconscious about what they’re transmitting. But equally true I believe we are all becoming more infinitely more capable of discerning vibration, hence the huge increase in the number of people identifying themselves as highly sensitive. HIghly-sensitive people getting blasted with disharmonious out-of-control vibrations is certainly not an ideal situation, and clearly that’s the one our collective is struggling with so much at the moment, often without realizing exactly what’s happening.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 14, 2018 at 06:04

      Hi Ally! I love your idea of a Toolbox for Life and would be keen to know what you have in there! Have a great weekend and thanks for stopping by xx

  • Reply Karen Hume July 13, 2018 at 22:23

    What a beautiful piece, Deborah. You are indeed a messenger and illuminary. Your words massaged my soul. I’ve gone to your site and subscribed to future posts.
    I love the words you’ve used for thrive, and the quotes you’ve provided at the end of each section.
    I’m not quite sure how I missed you on the A-Z challenge, but appreciate that Sue has brought you into our community. Thanks to both of you.

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 13, 2018 at 23:43

      Thank you for your very kind words Karen and for the follow. I’m truly grateful for the A-to-Z Challenge that wove its connecting magic, and to Sue’s kind invitation that led me here to this lovely community. What a delight!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 14, 2018 at 06:05

      Hi Karen, I’m so pleased you have found another connection to follow in our blogging community. Have a beautiful weekend, my friend. xx

  • Reply Corinne July 13, 2018 at 22:54

    Deborah, I love the idea of unfolding…having nothing compressed, out of sight. Being in the midst of a move has made me much more aware of conscious unfolding. In my current state, it is fascinating to see what calls to be included in being brought to light (i.e. Unpacked and included in my daily life) and how much can be shed and released….. I’m so enjoying the spaciousness that is arising in this process…. Unfolding consciously, using the heart as the compass for this new navigation. Thinking of this as a practice of Thriving is wonderful. Thanks for your continued insight and well expressed wisdom.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 14, 2018 at 06:07

      Hi Corinne and thank you for stopping by to leave a comment for Deborah. I loved her thoughts on the qualities that make us thrive. Have a beautiful day and enjoy!

  • Reply Deborah Weber July 14, 2018 at 00:02

    Despite all the challenges a move can bring, it really IS a most wonderful opportunity to re-position yourself in clearer alignment – helping clarify what is and isn’t important, needed, wanted. I’m excited for you Corky on this new adventure, and I know that beautiful heart compass of yours will be leading you in the most amazing directions.

  • Reply Hilary Melton-Butcher July 14, 2018 at 03:44

    Hi Sue and Debbie – great post … about thriving and living as we go, yet remembering others and not putting ourselves first. I’ve changed so much since my mother was terminally ill and saw so much in the Acute Brain Injury area, geriatric care as she lived on – luckily my mother could communicate for 5+ years … and then how I adapted to this sudden and ongoing change in life – as I needed to be free to be with her, and then my father’s BIL … it’s interesting – and thank goodness for blogging I’ve learnt so much … cheers to you both and all readers – Hilary

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 14, 2018 at 06:09

      Hello Hilary and welcome! Thank you for your comment and I’m sorry to hear of your mother and BIL’s illnesses. Blogging is certainly a way to give us an outlet when we are faced with difficult times. It is lovely to connect with you and I wish you a beautiful weekend xx

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 14, 2018 at 13:23

      You’ve navigated a lot of change Hilary. I’m glad you found blogging. Not only for what it’s offered you, but for the gifts you offer us with your writing. Win-win indeed.

  • Reply Pattie July 14, 2018 at 10:00

    Deborah, your love of words and language shine through as you share your insights on what it is to THRIVE. Positivity, kindness, love and joy are wonderful ways to navigate change as we grow and evolve into our truest selves.

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 15, 2018 at 02:55

      It’s so true Pattie – I delight in words. I’ve been thinking a lot about the choices each one of us makes as preferred methods of expression, and it’s exciting to see and realize how different we all are. Such unique and varied gems we are – together, a veritable treasure chest. No doubt we’ll always be invited into change and hopefully we’ll always recognize it as perfect opportunities to grow and unfurl and align with our truest self.

  • Reply samfiftysomething July 18, 2018 at 21:49

    Wow, thank you Sue for introducing us to Deborah. Deborah your way of writing is beautiful. There is so much depth and meaning. This is very thought provoking on so many levels, when we think personally about growing up from child to adult and the evolving emotions and experiences life takes us. Your post makes me think how I’ve changed as a person and dealt with my own experiences. Thank you for this 🙂

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 18, 2018 at 23:50

      Thanks for your kind words Sam. I often think of the gift perspective offers us, so we can see the shifts we made and how we’ve evolved. It can be helpful to review in this way – we can allow ourselves to be encouraged and inspired, to treat ourselves with compassion, and just to be in awe of it all. There are wonders everywhere to be celebrated, aren’t there?

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 19, 2018 at 15:41

      I enjoyed Deborah’s post, too Sam and I just love all of the women I am meeting in my Over 50 & Thriving Series. We can all learn something from each other. Have a great week! xx

  • Reply Michele July 23, 2018 at 21:13

    Being true to who you are is key for the rest to fall into place. Most of us do spend years trying to live up to the expectations of others or please everyone else. Being who you are meant to be is an incredible gift and it is more difficult for many of us than you would think. For many of us, this has become the work of midlife.

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 24, 2018 at 00:00

      I do believe this is key as well Michele. If we’re not building on the solid foundation of our true self, nothing else is fully aligned. The further off we are, the wobblier it all becomes. I’d love to see a mass collective effort to teach and support this with our young ones, so it no longer becomes the work of midlife or beyond.

  • Reply Joanne Sisco July 25, 2018 at 20:33

    It’s interesting that all these lessons we learn as we progress through life – like balance, positivity, kindness, sharing – seem to coalesce at a ‘certain age’ and for many of us it becomes easier to just ‘be’. This post reinforces that. This wondrous journey of who we are and our constant evolution is a fascinating one. I like that you added vibration into the equation. It’s something I’ve been sensitive to for a long time and yet never talk about.
    THRIVE sounds like a complicated recipe and yet when it’s all working it’s as simple as breathing. Thanks for a great read this morning.

    • Reply Deborah Weber July 25, 2018 at 22:27

      I so agree Joanne – this is a wondrous and fascinating journey, and it’s such a blessing to reach the point where we just are, fitting perfectly into ourselves.

      I find it curious and interesting that we talk so little about vibration, but it’s my strong hope that changes.

  • Reply Grammy Dee | Grammy's Grid August 2, 2018 at 21:05

    Hi Deborah, nice to “meet” you. I love your 6 words for thrive! Awesome post. Thanks Sue for introducing Deborah to us ♥

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 3, 2018 at 11:55

      Thanks Dee! I’m so impressed with all of my guests in this series – very wise women indeed! Have a great weekend xx

    • Reply Deborah Weber August 3, 2018 at 12:16

      Thanks Dee – I appreciate your kind words. And it’s been such a joy to meet the women hanging out here – a genuine delight.

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