#MicrosteppinginMay Over 50s Lifestyle Zen Tip Tuesday

Understanding your Why? – Identifying What you Want & Don’t Want in your life

April 30, 2019
Understanding Your Why

Do you understand your ‘Why’? No, I’m not referring to your purpose or why you exist. I’m asking if you have a Vision and understand Why you want it. Understanding ‘Why’ can help reduce stress, anxiety and additional pressure when you are working towards a goal or achieving the life you want.

During May we are working on the #microsteppingingmay challenge. Taking small steps to achieve our goals and breaking them down to the simplest version possible.

My post, Microstepping in May explains what Microsteps are and what we hope to achieve during the month. It explains that we aren’t the problem when we don’t achieve our goal but rather the problem is the system we use.

So back to Why? Most of us have a vision for our life. The way we want our life to be whether it be living a healthy lifestyle, having a successful career, travelling and lifestyle.

But have you linked it up with your entire life?

Do you see how achieving that goal will impact every other area in your life – positively and negatively?

We need to see that bigger picture because quite often our view of our goals and vision are just so narrow. Especially if we are stressed. The more stressed we are the narrower our vision of what we want or don’t want in our life is.

So how do we ‘Understand our Why?’ – why we have that vision and how do we identify what is holding us back from achieving our long term goal?

Two exercises that may help you see things with more clarity.

Completing the Wheel and how your goal impacts your life

Firstly, answer the following questions. Write your answers down.

Why do you want to achieve your goal?
How will every area of your life be impacted in a positive way by achieving your goal?
How will every area of your life be impacted in a negative way by achieving your goal?

ACTION: Fill in the wheel with your responses by shading in the impact positively or negatively. Less for negative more for positive.

Then once you have completed the wheel use that information to complete the next diagram.

Defining what you Want and Don’t Want in your life

Action: Complete the diagram by writing all the things you want in your life inside the circle. Then write all the things you don’t want or that are holding you back outside of the circle. This will allow you to focus on What You Want as opposed to What You Don’t Want.

Consider what you want in your life and how YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE every other area impacted including: health, financial, contribution, family and relationships.

Remember, change isn’t easy but by using Microsteps we can achieve our long term goals.

Do you have a Vision? Do you know Why? Do you know what is holding you back?

Women Living Well After 50

Living Life Your Way


  • Reply Min @ Write of the Middle April 30, 2019 at 18:04

    My goodness you’re keeping yourself busy each month so far this year Sue! I think I need to work on what my vision and goals are first before breaking them down into small steps. I’m still unclear on these things and it’s rather frustrating! I seem to have a block in getting any clarity around it I’m hoping it will hit me out of the blue one day soon – a certainty and clarity around what I want to do and why! Thanks for linking up with #ZTT & hope you have a wonderful week!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:11

      Hi Min, yes I’ve surprised myself with a different theme and this one just came to me on Sunday would you believe! We’ve also had the move to the GC but that was only our personal belongings so wasn’t too bad. Just need to get used to driving up each week to see my grandsons rather than being only 10 minutes away 🙁

  • Reply Candi Randolph April 30, 2019 at 20:31

    It’s so true that our goals and visions for an area of our life are impacted by everything else going on at the time, and we may not even realize it. Writing it all down in a visual way is a great idea, Sue. Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:13

      Glad you liked the idea, Candi. It is something I picked up in my Life Coaching Course. I suppose in a way it is similar to writing ‘pros and cons’ but a little more in-depth. x

  • Reply Lydia C. Lee May 1, 2019 at 07:30

    Worth thinking about – I float all over the place – very happy and content, but not always achieving much. Will consider and then (hopefully) act accordingly #MLSTL

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:14

      Hi Lydia, if you are happy and content I think you have it all. Many people never find that in life so you are on a winner! Thanks for visiting and have a great week. xx

  • Reply Christie Hawkes May 1, 2019 at 07:46

    Yes, Sue! I find that understanding the “why” of my goals is key to remaining motivated when the going gets tough or my enthusiasm wanes. And the more specific I get the better. For example, being healthy is a general why for eating nutritious food and being active, but saying I want to be healthy so I can enjoy traveling or other specific life experiences is much more motivating. Thank you for sharing this exercise. #MLSTL

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:14

      That is a great example, Christie and I used that in my FB Live this morning. If we know the ‘Why’ we can remind ourselves when the going gets tough. x

  • Reply Jennifer Jones May 1, 2019 at 08:52

    Understanding your why is so important to achieving our goals Sue. I always try to think about my why when setting goals. Thanks for the reminderThe circle is an interesting concept. #MLSTL Will share

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:17

      Hi Jen, yes I’ve never tried that circle exercise before but I think it shows quite well the impact of our goals. It also shows that sometimes we need to remove those things that are blocking us from achieving our goals. x

  • Reply Victoria May 1, 2019 at 08:54

    I really have not goals right now other than getting my husband healthy. If that doesn’t work I am not really sure what I will do.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:18

      You have enough on our plate Victoria and I do hope your husband is going okay. Your goal at the moment is to look after yourself so you can keep healthy and look after him. Sending hugs to you both xx

  • Reply Natalie May 1, 2019 at 09:04

    Hi Sue – Understanding the Why, writing it all down, and have a visual are great ways to keep focus on achieving our goals. I still use a simple sheet to write my goals down and have the sheet visible at my desk even though I know my goals by heart. #MLSTL

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:19

      Hi Natalie, sometimes the simple approach is the best isn’t it? I still like writing things down on paper rather than using the computer. Writing reinforces things so much better than typing. x

  • Reply Theresa Muth May 1, 2019 at 10:11

    Hello Sue!
    Love this idea of making small changes. I’m such a visual person and this helps a lot! I’ll be following along this month!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:21

      Hi Theresa I’m visual as well and I find this exercise very helpful. The impact on our life is something we don’t necessarily consider when planning our goals. I’ve always approached my goals using ‘baby steps’ as I called them (microsteps sound so much better). It keeps you motivated because you have small ‘wins’ along the way. x

  • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au May 1, 2019 at 12:05

    Oh boy, I’m feeling at a loss with this atm. I don’t really have any concrete goals or visions for my life. I seem to be just happily muddling through and enjoying not having a plan. Perhaps when this phase of my life moves into the next, inspiration will strike and I’ll be able to work through it further. In the meantime, I’ll follow along in your wake and watch how you put it all into practice.
    Thanks for co-hosting with me again for #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:22

      Hi Leanne, you don’t need to do anything at the moment except enjoy! You will know when you are ready to make new plans and then you can enjoy new adventures in Midlife & Beyond. xx

  • Reply Retirement Reflections May 1, 2019 at 15:23

    Once again, this is great advice, Sue. I know that i’ve said this before, but I am always inspired (and deeply grateful) of all of the work that you do for others.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:24

      Hi Donna, I was having a conversation with someone today and said how much I enjoy helping people and motivating them to be the best version of themselves. I don’t have all the answers but I love to promote others that do and I just love it when I receive positive feedback. Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement it means a lot to me. xx

  • Reply Debbie May 1, 2019 at 17:34

    It’s interesting because I always enjoy writing things down on paper first as I find it sinks in more. Lots of great advice from you again and you seem to be in a good place at the moment – thanks for all your wise words and support. I’m muddling along without too much of a vision but I’m quite happy at the moment. Sharing for #mlstl

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 1, 2019 at 17:46

      Hi Deb, if you are happy at the moment then you have it all don’t you? I like to write things down on paper it does help me to remember better than typing something. I’m feeling pretty good at the moment so hopefully we can now enjoy our new home. Have a great week and thanks for sharing. xx

  • Reply Nancy W Dobbins May 2, 2019 at 00:11

    Hi Sue,
    This is a great exercise to keep one’s motivation up. It’s nice and visual. Sometimes we all need a reminder on why we started out on a particular journey. For example, my eating routine is not always easy to follow (particularly while traveling or with friends) and takes a sustained effort. And, of course, none of us are perfect. When I feel derailed I watch the videos again that remind me of the importance of being mindful of what we are eating. Then I research new recipes and get re-energized.
    I actually found myself in this very position this week…but I got an added boost from my annual physical and bloodwork. Proof that this lifestyle works – all tests and exams were excellent!
    And, so glad about your move – it’s never easy. But now you can settle into your home permanently.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 2, 2019 at 07:08

      Hi Nancy, changing our lifestyle especially our eating routine is difficult isn’t it? You seem to be doing so well and determined to make it work. I love your approach to re-watching the video and then looking up new recipes to inspire you. Your medical report certainly shows you are doing something right! Well done! Yes, I’m looking forward to enjoying our home by the ocean. It is so lovely to wake up and look out at the waves each morning. A lovely way to start the day. xx

  • Reply Christine Field May 2, 2019 at 01:45

    Wonderful exercise we should all do once a year maybe?

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 2, 2019 at 07:10

      That is a great idea Christine. An annual review would definitely keep us on track because sometimes we start out with a goal and then realise it isn’t really what we want after all. Reviews are great and we can always change direction in life can’t we?

  • Reply Pat May 2, 2019 at 03:06

    Sue, I am a huge believer in having a vision of where I want to go, and I also have used a (similar) holistic life domain model to set goals in each part of my life. It’s always interesting to me to see how others “bucket life” into a different framework (life wheel) model.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 2, 2019 at 07:12

      Hi Pat, I’ve written before to you in a comment that we are very alike in our thinking. I need a vision and knowing Why helps to keep me motivated when working towards my goals. I like the idea of the life wheel because everyone is different and although goals may be similar the impact of the goals on a person’s life is individual. It brings things into perspective I believe.

  • Reply Michele May 2, 2019 at 04:30

    This is really crucial work for creating a life you love and that fills you with purpose and passion. I spent a long time doing this kind of work when I first left my career and moved and tried to figure out what I was going to do with my life. It was incredibly valuable and helped me to clarify why I wanted to do or not do things.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 2, 2019 at 07:13

      It has taken me a few years after retirement to really understand where I’m going Michele. After completing a Life Coach Certification and now working on a Life Purpose and Transformation Coaching courses, I realise the importance of an exercise like this. If we don’t know Why we are doing something then the passion to achieve it just isn’t there.

  • Reply Trisha Faye May 2, 2019 at 13:48

    Excellent post! Giving me a lot to think about – and a lot to act on.
    Thank you!
    Sharing for MLSTL

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 3, 2019 at 09:16

      I’m pleased you enjoyed the post Trisha and it is always good for us to find something new to think about and put into action. Have a great weekend. xx

  • Reply Denyse Whelan May 2, 2019 at 18:44

    A good discussion post I see Sue. I no longer even think much about ‘why’ which is likely to be because I am almost 70 and getting on with life after cancer brings a new perspective. When I was not as settled in retirement in the years 2013 till 2017 then it was a very tough time when all the ‘why’s in the world still did not help. Sometimes, as I found out, you just need to ‘get through.’ Hard as that sounds.


    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 3, 2019 at 09:18

      Hi Denyse, I suppose it is up to the individual and what is happening in their life, isn’t it? Some people just don’t need to make changes or have new goals to work towards. As you say sometimes you just need to get through. Have a lovely weekend, Denyse. xx

  • Reply Molly May 2, 2019 at 21:20

    I think I better knew my WHY in January than I do today… *sigh

    Three more classes and graduation then I am fully retired. I hope to implement these WHY exercises throughout the month of May so I am poised to move forward come June.

    Thank you, Sue, for the inspiration and encouragement 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 3, 2019 at 09:11

      Hi Molly, you have been working hard with the AtoZ Challenge and I suppose dealing with feelings and emotions as retirement looms. Don’t be too hard on yourself and give yourself time to adjust. It is going to be a different life and no matter how much you plan for it, retirement or change can still be a shock to the system.x

  • Reply Nancy W Dobbins May 2, 2019 at 23:34

    Hi Sue,
    Back again from #MLSTL..shared to SM.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 3, 2019 at 09:09

      You are a star, Nancy. Thank you! xx

  • Reply Miriam May 3, 2019 at 09:16

    Such an interesting and thought provoking post and I love the questions you asked. I answered them and it really brought a sense of clarity to me. Sometimes we get muddled in our intentions so it’s good to take a step back and look at the big picture and ask the big questions. And I’m a very visual person so doing exercises like this really helps. Thanks Sue. You never fail to inspire me and you always give me plenty to think about. Have a fabulous month ahead (and weekend). xx

  • Reply Jennifer May 3, 2019 at 22:56

    Understanding your why is so important in any goal planning. And people do need to dig a little deeper to find the why. These are good steps that will help people excavate what and why they truly want something.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 5, 2019 at 09:13

      Hi Jennifer, it is so easy to get caught up in the hype of making changes and working towards goals. Yet, sometimes we forget Why we are doing it. If we examine the Why sometimes we even discover that the goal isn’t really what we want after all. x

    I love hearing from you and your comments are important to me

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