It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s time you start falling in love with yourself to live life your way. That’s the topic for the next episode of Micro Mondays on the Women Living Well After 50 Podcast.
In this episode I discuss:
- Self love and why we need to be our own cheerleader
- Learning to fall in love with ourselves again
- Living Life Your Way
Listen to the Full Episode
Why do most women feel that we are never good enough? If we can’t like and love ourselves how can we reach our full potential and be the best we can be?
Learning to love yourself will make you a better person for not only you but your family and friends. As the words of the famous Whitney Houston song goes ‘learning to love yourself, is the greatest gift of all’.
I have met some beautiful and capable women who just can’t see themselves as others do. We fall into the comparison trap or we experience the ‘imposter syndrome’.
Here are 6 ways to can start learning to love yourself
1. Find a mantra
Think of a positive affirmation that you can repeat to yourself everyday. Building a base of confidence means we have to keep repeating to ourselves what others like about us. If we keep thinking about these positive messages we will slowly start to believe them.
What is one positive thing someone has told you recently? Use that to start building your confidence base.
2. Have ‘Me’ time
For many of us we have led hectic lives. We just aren’t defined by one thing but sometimes several – wife/partner, mother, work colleague, student.
We are now at a stage in our lives when we can take a step back and increase our ‘Me time’. Sometimes we need to be selfish and put ourselves first. That doesn’t mean we don’t love our partner or children it means that we are starting to love ourselves and realise our true worth.
Read my post Why We Need To be Selfish – Sometimes which explains why putting ourselves first sometimes is not a bad thing and makes us better people.
3. Write down 10 positive things about yourself
Think about yourself as a different person and objectively write 10 positive things about yourself. What do you like about you? What do others say that is positive about you? If you step away from the ‘self-critic’ for a moment and really look at who you are you will see the positives. It could be a gentle soul, you may have beautiful eyes.
Don’t be afraid to appreciate your physical attributes they are part of what makes YOU who you are
Beauty isn’t just physical it is born from the self-confidence within. How many times have you seen someone walk into a room and just have a presence. They may not be particularly beautiful in the physical sense, but their self-confidence shines through.
4. List what you love about your life
I recently took a writing challenge to list ‘Reflect on 99 Things I Love’ when I started I wasn’t sure I could list that many but by the time I had finished I realised I could have kept going.
The lesson I learned from this challenge was that there is so much to be grateful for in my life and so much to be appreciate that having self-doubt is a waste of energy.
5. Accept the things you cannot change
Okay so you aren’t a supermodel and never will be. You aren’t going to be the first female president of the USA – so what.
There will always be parts of ourselves that we don’t like and we have two options. We can do something about it to CHANGE what we don’t like or we have to ACCEPT it and make peace with our inner voice.
6. Go and do it!
Is there something you have always wanted to do but were afraid to try? Go and do it! Sure, you have the fear that you might fail but the feeling of ‘what if’ is so much worse.
Ask yourself two questions:
‘What is the worst that can happen?’ or ‘What will you achieve if you do try?’
It is time to start believing in ourselves and start living a positive and happy life loving who we are without the shackles of self-criticism and self-doubt.
You can do it and how much better will you feel when you do?
Be the type of person you would like to meet
Take a read of 99 Things I love and maybe come up with your own list.
21 Comments
Hmm, be the kind of person you would like to meet. I am not sure I am that. What great advice. Now to work on it.
Of course you are that, Leslie! You are beautiful, kind and generous and who wouldn’t want to meet you. Take care my friend. xx
Hi Sue – I loved all of these – simple, do-able, and very positive. My post today is on a similar theme! The blessing of Midlife is that we get to re-think who we are and to accept and nourish that person. I feel that this is our time and it’s a joy to be able to love the person we’ve become – and to continue to grow into our best selves.
Hi Leanne, I think we need to actually reach 60 for ideas and thoughts to really start evoking change. Up until then I feel I was still trying to work out everything and finding the courage to make the changes in thought and mindset. x
We are all unique as you say Sue and shouldn’t compare ourselves to others and yet we do! I love that ‘what is the worst that can happen’ question. You are so full of positive energy and great ideas – thanks so much for being you!
Hi Deb, I admit I sometimes falter with the ‘what is the worst that can happen?’ step but if I get past that then nothing can stop me. x
That’s a great attitude to have Sue and you do it all so well!
This is a hard one for me as my mind automatically goes to the ‘what’s wrong and needs improvement’ side rather than the ‘what’s okay and I should be grateful for’ position!
Hi Deb, that is a natural reaction and I wrote in a FB post yesterday that really it took me until I was 60 to start feeling comfortable with myself. It is definitely not easy and will always be a WIP. x
Oh yes, I saw that FB post! xx
Great post! I love that go and do it bit! We def need to be our own cheerleader. I think a lot of women my age went to schools were we saw all that as ‘bragging’ so we would put ourselves down. One of the worst traits in girls school is you begin to believe the voice in your head more than you should. Takes some work to get it in the backseat and to pip down’ (Hopefully they are different now)
Hi Lydia, yes society when I was growing up equated ‘sharing our wins or achievements’ as bragging or showing off. I think it might have gone the other way now where everyone gets a prize so no one feels left out and I’m not sure I agree with that. Still we should always be proud of our efforts and who we are. Enjoy your week. xx
Happy Valentine’s Day, Sue!
This is all great advice, especially “Go and Do It.” With one little step at a time, it is truly incredible what we can accomplish! <3
Thanks Donna and a belated Happy Galentine’s day to you! xx
Hi Sue. I love these. They are simple but would make a huge difference. We do need to be our own cheerleader. I think women our age struggle with this.
I agree we all struggle with this Jen, although hopefully we have taught our children to be different. x
Well-done on being firstly your own cheerleader Sue, and then encouraging of others. You have truly found your calling at this time of your life and I applaud you for going so well in all you do. I was just reading your comment to Cathy about your own schooling…congrats of NSGHS entry because I know that is an academic selective HS. I will always be sad for your future education choices which were not yours but built on, as you have shared before, your parents’ outlook. You are the fine example of Never Too Late indeed. Thank you for sharing your post for Life This Week. I enjoy seeing your blog’s post pop up in the link up. Warm wishes, Denyse.
Hi Denyse, thank you for your words of encouragement and yes there were only 3 girls from my primary class selected to go to NSGHS. I still marvel that I was one of them. x
Really liked the statement about doing something to change (what I don’t like) or working to accept it. I realized I’ve done that for improving my body image (acceptance of what is)…. now I need to address other aspects in order to love myself. Also like the “be the person you’d like to meet”! So much in this post. Thanks!
Hi Pat, I think we forget that we can change what we don’t like about ourselves and our life and feel we are ‘stuck’. Body image has always been an issue and I’m not sure it has really improved when I look on social media and it is still all about how we look on the outside with ‘role models’ who are manufactured and not reality.
I saw this quote recently: Even super models are not super models in real life. There are more days when I’m OK with my body than days when I am not… but I do wish we didn’t still have an ideal of “thinness”.