Health & Wellness Mental Health Micro Mondays

The one thing we need to stop doing for good mental health

May 24, 2021

Comparison with others – it’s a trap we all fall into but one that can definitely be detrimintal to our mental health and well-being. In this week’s Micro Mondays episode on the Women Living Well After 50 podcast, I discuss the topic of comparison and ways we can avoid falling into the comparison trap.

Comparison is a trap that affects our mental well-being

  • it affects our self confidence and self esteem
  • it messes with our mind and
  • the effect of social media and the ‘perfect life’ social posts
  • it convinces us we are not worthy or we aren’t as capable or beautiful or successful

Your journey is not the same as mine

and my journey is not yours

but if you meet me on the path

may we encourage each other


We can sidestep the Comparison trap living an authentic life by

  • living your life on your terms and not on others terms
  • taking time to connect with yourself and your gut instinct
  • accepting that life brings struggles and challenges – it is how we handle them when they arise is important
  • stop wishing your life was different and make changes if you aren’t happy
  • set your goals and go for it
  • ask for help
  • having the courage to say ‘I’ve tried this path but it’s not for me. I’m changing direction.
  • putting your best interests first
  • realising that success means different things in life and size doesn’t matter

Take a listen to the podcast or watch the video and let me know your thoughts on ‘Falling into the Comparison trap’

If you would like to start your self-discovery but not sure how, contact me to arrange a free 15 minute chat and how I can help you start Living Well.
Email me at :  Subject:  Self-discovery

Women Living Well After 50

Living Life Your Way


  • Reply Jody @ Six Little Hearts May 24, 2021 at 11:42

    Absolutely agree with getting off social media! I used to love Instagram but now I loathe it. I don’t want to see others’ lives anymore. I am happier on Twitter where the intelligent minds hang out! There are so many funny ideas on Twitter.
    Great post.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 25, 2021 at 11:51

      Hi Jody, social media is fine in moderation but I just find that it can be all consuming if we allow it. I don’t use Twitter as much. I think being selective of the social media we use is important. Have a lovely week. xx

  • Reply Leanne | May 24, 2021 at 13:30

    Hi Sue – comparison is definitely the thief of joy (something I quoted in my post today – we must be on the same wavelength). I think the biggest thing for me with comparison is being strong enough in my belief in myself and what’s good for “me” to then be able to withstand ‘helpful’ advice from others or looking at their achievements and measuring myself against them.
    I’ve come to see that the quote you shared (that I pinned!) is exactly right – life is different for us all – and instead of all being the same and seeing it as a failure if we’re not, lets all just cheer each other along and let each other set our own pace. Great post my friend xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 25, 2021 at 11:52

      Hi Leanne, yes comparison can be a killer for our self esteem and the thief of joy. We were on the same wavelength weren’t we this week! Enjoy your week. x

  • Reply Erica/Erika May 24, 2021 at 13:42

    I love the concept of encouraging each other, and you are always wonderful about this Sue. You see the good in others and share your journey of self improvement. I know you are an avid runner and you remind me of PB or PR, our personal best. Not a comparison. The “I can’t do it for you” plays out in many parts of our life and our relationships. Interesting concept about remembering past achievements/success. Thank you for sharing great gems, Sue.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 25, 2021 at 11:54

      Hi Erica, I do like to encourage others and for example when I taught ballet and even now in the SHW studio, I get great joy seeing people improve and find self-confidence. It is a joy to see. I’m also learning to take the pressure of with my running and trying to go for a time. That was fine in the past but these days I also want to enjoy the views of where I’m running. xx

  • Reply Donna Connolly May 24, 2021 at 13:57

    Hi, Sue – As soon as I read your title, I immediately filled in the blank — ‘comparison’.
    I completely agree with you that comparing ourselves to others is a lose-lose trap. It undermines our own accomplishments, as well as our uniqueness. And it often throws a wet blanket on the joy of others. This is a really wise post!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 25, 2021 at 11:55

      We are on the same wavelength! I hadn’t thought about the wet blanket but that is definitely something to consider. We need to build each other not try to pull each other down through envy. xx

  • Reply Christina Henry May 24, 2021 at 14:07

    Hi Sue, I enjoyed listening to your podcast episode. Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins. I can’t understand people who waste energy on envying others. As you say, if you’re not happy with your life it’s up to you to change it. I have several family members who love to complain about their lot in life but never try to do anything to change it! So frustrating. It’s in their nature to be negative I think. Thankyou for another great post, regards Christina

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 25, 2021 at 11:57

      Thanks for listening Christina and I’m loving planning for my Micro Mondays podcast episodes. Envy is such a waste of energy as you say and I think it makes us look ugly because it consumes our hearts. Some people are wired to be negative but they could change if they really wanted to. I’d much rather try to be happy and see the brighter side of life that is for sure. Hope you are okay and sending hugs to you and your family. xx

  • Reply Deborah Cook May 24, 2021 at 14:19

    This is a big one for me Sue and I’ve commented before that I only ever compare myself to those with more / better. Rarely do I remind myself how lucky I am compared to others who may have less or whose circumstances are more challenging.

    I often say I’m happy with my ‘lot’ in life until I look at others and only then feel either envious of their ‘lot’ or feel like a failure myself.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 25, 2021 at 11:58

      Hi Deb, your the second person who raised this excellent point of who we compare ourselves too. Comparison can be so tiring, trying to keep up with or be better than others rather than just living our own life. x

  • Reply Debbie Harris May 24, 2021 at 17:02

    Well said Sue, your podcast was full of wise words and resonated with me, and others too by the looks of things. Thanks for highlighting this area we are all prone to slip into at times. Your podcasts are great!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 26, 2021 at 04:55

      Thanks Deb for your continued support and friendship which I treasure. x

  • Reply Lydia C. Lee May 24, 2021 at 17:49

    I could probably just paste my comment to Leanne here too – I think it takes a long time to learn what makes you happy and that what makes other people happy may not make you happy. Knowing it, and owning it does actually bring much happiness and also takes away the weird comparison thing. Ironically, with aging, I’ve had two recent incidents where I’ve compared myself ill favourably to my younger self – stuff I used to do with ease had become more difficult due to a lack of agility (and slight fearfulness). So that’s what I need to work on. Growing into my body but pushing it to it’s limits regardless….

  • Reply Jennifer Jones May 25, 2021 at 07:36

    I agree with this Sue. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with others. As much as I love Instagram, I’m sure it causes feelings of being not good enough. Social media can be a worry at times

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 26, 2021 at 04:57

      Hi Jen, I think social media has a place but when we let it start ruling how we think and feel about our life compared to others it is a slippery slope to being unhappy. Have a great week and hope you are keeping well. x

  • Reply Susanne May 25, 2021 at 07:53

    Sue, these are some excellent points to get out of this trap. Comparison is our worst enemy and social media doesn’t help 🙁 I think I’ll start listening to your podcast, you seem to have some very good stuff on there – is it available on Apple podcasts and similar places too, to easily see all past episodes?

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 25, 2021 at 11:50

      Hi Susanne so pleased you enjoyed this message and I’ve replied to your email. The podcast is on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, Google all the main directories. have a lovely week! x

  • Reply Denyse Whelan May 26, 2021 at 18:41

    I think you are doing us all a favour with your words and thought about self-care and being responsible for our own thoughts, needs and care. However, there are times, all of us get into a comparison trap don’t we? Then, without realising its danger, away we go spiralling into negativity.

    I used to be dwelling far too much on regrets and self recriminations and they do not help me at all. Learned that in recognising that for myself, I am able to quickly say a few kind words to myself and move back to the present.

    Thank you for joining in Life This Week Link Up.
    I’ve just added another 10 optional prompts taking us to October!
    It’s always good to see a blog post from you and I value your presence here. Denyse.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric May 30, 2021 at 07:05

      Hi Denyse, we all dwell on the negatives don’t we. The challenge is to be kinder to ourselves and treat ourselves the way we respect others. You’ve certainly come a long way over the last couple of years haven’t you?

  • Reply Leslie Susan Clingan June 6, 2021 at 10:55

    I think women can be either very supportive and encouraging of one another or the polar opposite. I have always believed that what people remember most about you is how you made them feel. And I would hope that more of us strive to be uplifting than destructive.

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