Discover Yourself Health & Wellness

Solitude Is Not The Same As Being Lonely

July 30, 2015

Solitude“Solitude matters, and for some people, it is the air they breathe” – Susan Cain. This quotation was one of the prompts for writing a post for our weekly #FridayReflections contributions.

This quote made me think about solitude, being alone. However this doesn’t mean that one is lonely; there is a difference.  I am rarely alone and it has been this way for as long as I can remember.  I’ve always been wanted or needed – daughter, wife, mother, friend, employee – so I relish any moments of solitude, however brief.

Some people need others around them constantly.  They are just not comfortable with their own company.  They make sure their calendars are full and the thought of spending time alone fills them with dread.  Their social life is double or triple booked with social events with ‘friends’, some of whom are no more than acquaintances, but they fill the void of loneliness some people feel when they are alone.

I love spending time with my husband, family and friends, however, I jealously guard my moments of solitude.  I think it is so important to have ‘me time’.

still love my friends

Spending time alone does not necessarily mean you are lonely.  You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone.  Solitude helps you step out of the world for a time and helps you to discover your inner self.

It can be a time for meditation to think, dream and plan.

When you are alone there is no need to converse, you are alone with your thoughts and feelings and can ‘just be’ with no demands placed upon you.

[bctt tweet=”Solitude Calms The Soul”]

Being alone and having times of solitude should not be mistaken for loneliness.



Solitude can bring peace to a hectic life for some it is as important as air.  They need solitude to survive.

Why not take some time out and enjoy your solitude.


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  • Reply Mackenzie Glanville July 31, 2015 at 17:10

    This just speaks to my soul, I totally feel you here xx

    • Reply sue August 1, 2015 at 08:33

      Oh thank you Mackenzie I think we have a connection. Thanks for #FridayReflections

  • Reply Joanne T Ferguson July 31, 2015 at 18:30

    What a lovely post Sue and how true this is! Thanks for brightening my day!
    Pinned and shared #ibabloggers

    • Reply sue August 1, 2015 at 08:35

      I’m so glad I brightened your day Joanne and it is lovely to receive this feedback. I always admire your positivity. Have a great weekend!

  • Reply Corinne Rodrigues July 31, 2015 at 19:09

    I feel much the same as you, Sue! I grab every opportunity for solitude!

    • Reply sue August 1, 2015 at 08:35

      Yes Corinne it is a very precious thing as it is hard sometimes to have time on our own.

  • Reply Emily August 1, 2015 at 09:18

    I love being on my own. Like you I always have people around me like my children who I love being with but their are times that I just want to spend time on my own with my own thoughts.

    • Reply sue August 1, 2015 at 12:50

      It is precious times Emily. We love our families but I think having time on our own makes us better for our families. Thank you for stopping by to comment. Have a lovely day!

  • Reply Kimberly Hilbert August 1, 2015 at 09:39

    I always need my quiet time. If I can’t sit back and alone for a bit I’m not a very fun person to be around. I get overwhelmed easy when there is too much commotion.

    • Reply sue August 1, 2015 at 12:51

      I hear you Kimberly. It is like we just need to ‘step out of the world’ for a little while. Quiet time centres us. Thank you for commenting and have a lovely weekend.

  • Reply Thomas Ives August 1, 2015 at 10:09

    This is spot on!!! I am the most lonley when in a room full of people. I use Mondays as the day to spend in solitude. This allows me to “recharge” for that week.

    • Reply sue August 1, 2015 at 12:52

      Oh Thomas that is great that you have one day of solitude. I’m lucky to snatch an hour! I would rather spend quality time on my own or with a couple of close friends than having a room full of people and noise and not really connecting. Thank you for sharing your comment with me and glad you enjoyed the post.

  • Reply Agatha August 1, 2015 at 13:13

    Oh this post spoke to me in so many ways. I love having solitude moments whether it’s during lunch breaks, or just taking a walk out in the park. It’s such a refreshing moment during the day. Some people don’t understand this though. So glad you shared. 🙂

    • Reply sue August 2, 2015 at 12:31

      I agree with you Agatha when I worked I would go for a walk during my lunch break. Sometimes we just need some time out from the world. I’m glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for taking the time to comment.

  • Reply Mary Gilbert August 1, 2015 at 23:39

    I found that as I got older and became comfortable with who I was as a person that I didn’t mind being alone…..I enjoy my own company!

    • Reply sue August 2, 2015 at 12:33

      Yes, Mary it could be a product of growing wiser. I enjoy my own company – not 24/7 but I don’t panic if I’m on my own. I love to read, blog, knit, watch movies or just sit in the sunshine and enjoy the warmth. Thanks for commenting.

  • Reply cathy August 4, 2015 at 21:22

    I totally get this post Sue. I have enjoyed my time alone since I was a young girl, when I would stay up after the family went to bed, to read, or draw or paint. I am still that little girl in many ways and get real cranky if the family encroaches on my alone time. 🙂 I need the time alone to think, ponder, wonder, and grow as a person. Self nurturing I call it.

    • Reply sue August 5, 2015 at 11:03

      We think alike Cathy! I’m fortunate now that it is only my husband and I at home although I still find it hard to get alone time! Self nurturing is a lovely and apt way of expressing solitude. Thanks for commenting and have a lovely day 🙂

  • Reply Janine August 5, 2015 at 20:28

    ‘Solitude calms the soul’. Those were the words I was looking for – spot on!

    • Reply sue August 6, 2015 at 14:37

      Oh thank you Janine! I loved your post as well. I enjoy reading your work. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

  • Reply Wendy August 5, 2015 at 22:35

    I used to think I was a complete extrovert, but I’m discovering I have very strong introvert tendencies, as well. I choose to label it “well balanced” instead of “weird.” 🙂 I love people and am truly energized when I spend time with friends and family, but I do enjoy my moments of alone time. #debbieinshape

    • Reply sue August 6, 2015 at 14:41

      Of course you are ‘well balance’! I think it is even more important for extoverts to have time alone. Everyone expects you to be ‘on’ all the time and it can become tiring. Thanks so much for stopping by with a great comment – much appreciated.

  • Reply Monica Bruno August 7, 2015 at 08:55

    Yes! I relish my alone time. I spend my alone time meditating in the morning and right before bed, while I run and do yoga. It’s my time to sit still and connect. It’s so easy to be pulled from one obligation to the next, so it’s so important to do on a daily basis.

    • Reply sue August 7, 2015 at 11:44

      On the same page Monica!!! Even if it is only 5-10 minutes something is better than nothing, although I do like ‘me time’. Thanks for taking the time to comment and glad you enjoyed the post.

  • Reply Horace Williams Jr August 7, 2015 at 09:13

    I absolutely love this post. I definitely treasure my solitude. It in those times when I feel closest to God, my Lord and Savior. Thank you so much for sharing such beautifully written thoughts. May God bless you in all your endeavors!

    • Reply sue August 7, 2015 at 11:45

      Oh I am so pleased Horace and thank you for commenting. We all need time to reflect and it makes us better people. Have a lovely day!

  • Reply Anne August 7, 2015 at 14:57

    I love having me time but with two little children it does not happen very often these days!

    • Reply sue August 8, 2015 at 10:02

      Yes it is difficult Anne and it will get better as they get older. However, even half an hour will make you feel so much better. Enjoy your children while you can and thank you for commenting. Have a lovely day!

  • Reply Jebbica August 9, 2015 at 04:51

    I am rarely EVER alone because I always confuse solitude with loneliness. My hubby is fishing today and normally when I’m home alone I go nuts with loneliness. But today, I’m enjoying some much-needed SOLITUDE! I’m actually learning how great it can be to be alone and do whatever you want to do in the peace and quiet. Thanks for sharing on #FoodandFitnessFriday!

    • Reply sue August 12, 2015 at 11:57

      I’m glad you are enjoying your SOLITUDE Jessica. Once we get past the difference between Solitude and Loneliness it can be such a nurturing time for us. I love my solitude although I do love spending time with my husband, family and friends also.

  • Reply Amy August 14, 2015 at 00:51

    Great post! I feel more relaxed and rejuvenated just reading it. I do crave solitude a lot. I need my time to reflect and wind down but I can see why some people would be confused by the two. Great quotes. Thanks for sharing. #ConfessionsLinkUp

    • Reply sue August 14, 2015 at 07:29

      Oh thank you Amy we all need time to reflect and as a busy mum you certainly would need it. thanks for the opportunity to link up and have a lovely weekend.

  • Reply Elizabeth @ Guilty Chocoholic Mama September 18, 2015 at 19:01

    Hi, Sue! I clicked on your link at Learning from Each Other because I had JUST put up my own post about encouraging your introverted child…written from the heart and mind of an introvert. (Me!) Wow! (I even used that same kid-in-hoodie-by-water artwork in my piece. 🙂 ) I LOVE that quote about solitude being the air some people breathe…it surely is for me. Our extroverted, social society tends to skew introverts as needing to be “fixed” or “brought out of our shell.” I want to encourage others that this is not true. Where introverts and extroverts are concerned, it is not a matter of right-or-wrong but rather this-or-that. Thank you for sharing this piece and giving solitude the respect it deserves! 🙂

    • Reply sue September 20, 2015 at 13:42

      I love your attitude “this-or-that” such a great way to look at things. Thank you for stopping by to comment and I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Have a lovely week and hope to talk again. By the way, I love your blog name….Guilty Chocoholic Mama – just great!

  • Reply Chantal September 19, 2015 at 05:57

    Found you thru #LFEO. I find all that you have said to be true! However, I am an introvert and sometimes there is a bit of gray area for me. “Alone” can cross over into “lonely” easily and sometimes I convince myself I am enjoying it until I realize I truly am lonely! Anyway, thanks for the read. 🙂

    • Reply sue September 20, 2015 at 13:51

      You make a good point Chantal. If you are an introvert it can be a fine line but you seem to realise when you need to socialize which is a good thing. Thanks for stopping by to comment and have a lovely day!

  • Reply Horace Williams Jr February 5, 2016 at 16:20

    Well said Sue! I used to think i was weird because I enjoyed being alone at times Now that I’ve recommitted my life to Christ, I love sharing those moments of solitude with him. He inspires me to write the things and do. He encourages me a I thank Him for all He has done. Thank you for sharing this archived post. You write with such heart and I am always encouraged when I read your posts! (I had to share this too:) Have a blessed weekend my friend!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 6, 2016 at 09:44

      How lovely of you to comment Horace and I’m so pleased that you feel encouraged by my posts. I love your strong faith and commitment which shows through in your writing. Have a lovely day and thank you for stopping by.

  • Reply Gina February 20, 2016 at 15:42

    You are so right! Solitude doesn’t mean that you’re lonely. I used to constantly fill my calendar with events like you said. Then, I realized how awesome it was to just spend time by myself. I have a lot of time when hubby is at work and I’m at home by myself on the weekend. I love spending time with him and my friends and family. But, I look forward to those days planning what I can do for me. Tomorrow I’m going to take a bubble bath in my solitude!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 20, 2016 at 17:44

      Exactly Gina. I used to think I had to do something with other people but now I crave solitude. with husband, family and friends I find I’m rarely alone so really appreciate ‘me time’ when I get it. Enjoy your bubble bath!

  • Reply Ashley Tukiainen February 20, 2016 at 23:35

    I couldn’t agree more! I love having me time. When I was single I never minded being by myself and I have friends that just never understood how I could spend so much time by myself and never be bored. I used to constantly hear, I work with this really great guy who you might be interested, or something of that variation because they mistook solitude for loneliness. It was very telling.

    Thanks for joining us at FTAF!! I always love reading what you have to say 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 21, 2016 at 17:35

      Hi Ashley thanks for stopping by and as I’ve said before I really love the concept of using older posts for a link up. People can’t help themselves can they? They feel they need to match you up but really ‘me time’ is so precious and rewarding as you can take the time to really get to know YOU! See you next week.

    I love hearing from you and your comments are important to me

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