I recently wrote about my October Overhaul in my post Could you do a radical declutter of your life?. I’m taking life a little slower as I examine what brings me joy and what I want to let go of what drains me of energy.
We are in mid October and I’m still muddling about but that’s okay. I’ve made a start and sharing this with you in this post. Part of my ‘decluttering exercise’ was to re-evaluate the friendships and who I have in my life.
I haven’t recorded a Micro Mondays episode on the podcast for a few weeks and again, that’s fine. I did, however, record one this week because I felt I had something of value to share. Today’s episode is all about re-evaluating friendships and #bringingmorecolourintoyourlife both of which are important for self-care and well-being.
This quote I found on Facebook which I shared with my WLWA50 Facebook community. It resonated with me and gave me some direction for an area of my October Overhaul. Sunshine lifts our mood, so why not surround ourselves with people who are sunshine rather than cloudy skies?
Lately I’ve stepped back and re-evaluated my inner circle and those I have connected with through social media. It is surprising how many ‘friends’ we have on Facebook but I realised that they are acquaintances at best, or I’ve changed or they have changed and I don’t feel we connect any longer. Have you experienced this feeling?
Of course friendship is a two-way street isn’t it? I can’t expect others to bring sunshine into my life if I’m not reciprocating and bringing sunshine to theirs. There are times when we can’t and that’s okay, because that is the time when true friends are there to support you through your ‘cloudy’ times and vice versa.
Listen to the podcast
The 100 day #bringmorecolourintoyourlife challenge
I wrote about this in a recent post and as of today I’m up to Day 9. It is amazing how much colour is around you if you take the time to look. I’m sharing Days 1 to 8 with you and would love to see what brings colour to your life. You can follow my daily pops of colour on Instagram @Womenlivingwellafter50 or join me in the Women Living Well After 50 Facebook Community
19 Comments
I suspect part of my current malaise is a result of missing my close friends. I have a group of local friends that I catch up with every month or two and we chat often online but I don’t think it’s the same as seeing someone in person.
My closest friends still live in Brisbane and though I’m in regular contact with one, the other couple have a lot on and – now we’re not seeing each other much – I feel like we’re growing apart.
I’ve been fortunate Deb to still see my close friends as we run together weekly. I have been surprised though at the depth of friendship I have formed with some online friendships. I think it really just comes down to how you are feeling and sometimes you just need that IRL chat and coffee catch up don’t you? x
Hi Sue, Friendships are an important component to live a healthy and happy life. Kudos to you for re-evaluating the friendships you have. I think it’s also important to be open to make new friendships.
Here’s my contribution to #Bringmorecolourintoyourlife challenge:
https://natalietheexplorer.home.blog/2021/10/15/fleurs-de-villes-niagara-falls/
I loved your Fleurs de Villes Niagara Falls just stunning! Thanks for contributing to #Bringmorecolourintoyourlife challenge. xx
Hi, Sue – This is such a great post on so many levels. Bringing more colour into our lives goes hand in hand with surrounding ourselves with people who bring us joy while having our backs as we have theirs. It’s difficult, but reevaluating and re-valuing our friendships is key.
Hi Donna, thank you for your friendship. We might live on the other side of the world from each other but your friendship has brought richness to my life. xx
Hi Sue – I think friendships fluctuate and can depend on what’s a priority in your life at any given time. If you’re caught up in something that is firing you up, then those who resonate with that will become more “visible” for that stage of your journey. Others take a back seat, but are still along for the ride. I’m grateful for every friend I have these days – especially those who take the time to cheer me on and encourage me….because that’s when friends really shine.
I agree Leanne, friendship does fluctuate and sometimes it just fades away. I have found in the past that if I don’t initiate the catch up it doesn’t happen and then that wears thin after a while. I think I also collected ‘friends’ on FB when we were doing #MLSTL and I have no idea who some of them are now. x
This all makes complete sense Sue and I can understand your need to make changes. Friendships often need re-evaluating and there is often a reason or a time frame involved. Bringing more colour into each day is a great way of keeping your spirits up. I love that sunshine friendship quote, it sums it up perfectly!
Great to hear you on the podcast doing the Micro Monday episodes again!
I felt good getting back onto the podcast Deb but it might not be quite so consistent at the moment. I liked the Sunshine quote and I thought of you when I read it. x
Sue, this post and your podcast were pure sunshine. Two, maybe three years ago, I purged my FB friends and stopped posting. I still comment from time to time on the posts of a relative or close friend, but other than that, I am off social media. I do have a gallery on Instagram of my photographs, but that is more for me than for the accolades from followers. I had previously purged my IRL friends, which was even harder to do, but necessary. I struggled in the beginning but when it comes down to it, I choose me – my happiness, my self-worth, my plan for my life. Pauses bring clarity. Good for you to recognize that this is what you need right now.
Oh Suzanne, you have made my day. I have had quite a bit going on personally and struggling to keep the podcast going mainly because I couldn’t think clearly or creatively. I finally found I had something to say so thank you for validating that. I am trying to cut back on Social Media and as I mentioned, I seem to have friends on SM that I really don’t know. It is about pausing and finding clarity. Your comments make me feel that you get where I’m coming from. xx
Sue I did a huge de clutter about 10 years ago which was very liberating. However I’ve recently realised that so much has crept back in so I’m just getting started on it again. I haven’t seen any of my ‘real life’ friends for almost two years due to Covid. Hoping next year is a better year for catch ups. Btw I’ve been loving your colour photos
Yes it has certainly been hard for you with all the lockdowns Jen so I hope you get to see your friends soon. I’ve been enjoying your colour photos too. Your flowers are beautiful. I hear you about having to redo a declutter. We moved a couple of years ago and thought we had decluttered but even now I see thing creeping back in. Perhaps it is a WIP. x
Good topic Sue. I have missed being social thanks to Lockdown but it was alwasy hard for me for reasons of anxiety/IBS and then along came mouth cancer.
This year, from about May onwards I was ready to take action and meet with people. Sadly, I got only a couple of chances then…4+ months.
My friends’ groups have all been school/work related and have remained current when working with those people. It’s a long time since doing that and many are now here on FB etc.
I am enjoying the opportunity to catch up with people but it is “I” who makes the contact, arranges it and so on. However, rather than whinge about it I am seeing that I am using my people skills and I never get the idea the other people aren’t up for it. So, I keep on arranging. I already have a meet up in November sorted.
Thanks so much for linking up for #LifeThisWeek. Next week I will publish the second half of the Women of Courage Wrap but the optional prompt is “X Marks the Spot”. Great to have your blog as part of the community here this week. Denyse.
I think you would enjoy catching up Denyse especially after so long in lockdown. I’m usually the one who arranges catch ups and whilst I don’t always complain sometimes I feel it would be nice for someone else to make the offer. Enjoy your November meetup xx
I have freinds that seem to quite regularly cull. I have only ever ‘lost touch’ which I guess is some sort of lazy culling. I am also pretty selective in the first place. I also know, sometimes it’s surprising who steps up when you need them (and who you become close to because you can help them in their crises). I see it more as a pay it forward thing than a reciprocal thing.
At the moment, fresh out of lockdown, I’m happy to see any or All my friends 🙂
Enjoy your catch up after such a long lockdown Lydia! I agree sometimes people step up to the plate and they surprise you. Enjoy Freedom xx
I was struck by the title of this post because this is what I’ve been doing for the last 6 months. Not on Facebook because that is full of acquaintances and I hardly look at it and almost never post, but in real life. It has been a difficult year and we’ve had time to think about what really matters. Someone who has been my close friend since I was 6 years old was terribly unpleasant last year. I had time to think instead of rushing along with my life and realised she has always been unpleasant, a bit of a bully and rarely makes me feel good about myself. This huge insight has helped me stay away from similar relationships.