Discover Yourself Relationships

Bringing the Romance Back – Over 50 Style

February 10, 2016
Valentine's day bring back the romance

Valentine's day bring back the romanceWell Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us and the usual cards, flowers and gifts will keep retailers happy! But do we need a reason to celebrate our love?

I always thought that Valentine’s Day was actually a bit of a ‘gimmick’ and it shouldn’t just be one day a year that we show our loved one how much we care.

However, after hearing a conversation on the radio station, I’m thinking that perhaps we do!

I was listening to the radio yesterday and a woman had actually emailed to the Radio Station her thoughts about how she felt her husband regarded their relationship.  I’m not actually one to be public about my relationship, however she felt she needed to do this.  The Radio Station then phoned the husband and read him the contents of the email.

His response was that he was guilty of ‘not putting enough effort in’.

For those of us in long-term relationships it is easy to fall into a comfortable pattern and not really ‘try anymore’.  We have all heard about ‘mid-life’ crisis and these days I think women are experiencing this more than men!

If you ask older people who have been married for a long time, what is their one piece of advice they would give for a happy longterm relationship,  they usually say that keeping open communication should be a priority.

It is so easy to be with each other and not even talk after a while.

Now, of course this is something that you welcome occasionally – that lovely feeling of just being together and not having to say anything.  However, communication is so important to keeping the relationship alive.

Any relationship is not perfect, and it needs nurturing to keep it alive.

You feed and water your plants so why not 'tend' to your relationship?Click To Tweet

Being 50+ doesn’t mean that romance goes out the door.  It is wonderful to experience romance in our lives and feel special about our relationship.  However, Romance doesn’t happen you need to make it happen.

Romance doesn't just happen in a relationship. You have to make it happen.Click To Tweet

4  ways to bring the ‘spark’ back to your relationship


Reflect on how it was when you first fell in love and why you fell in love with your partner.  Yes, I know that the giddy feeling of the first stage of love doesn’t last forever – but why does it have to die completely?

Reflect on times you have shared together which were special to you both and talk about those times.  My husband and I have been lucky to travel the world and sharing those memories brings us closer when we reminisce.


Communicate how you feel and be honest with each other.  This includes discussing your sex life.  As we get older it doesn’t mean that we can’t experience the physical side of a loving relationship.

Turn the TV off, light  some candles, put on some soft music, set a ‘romantic’ table, dress to impress and enjoy a meal together without any distractions.  When was the last time you actually had a conversation over dinner?

Tell each other you love them.  We take for granted that our partner knows this, but how lovely it is to hear ‘I love you’ especially if it is not expected.

Surprise each other!  When was the last time you left a love note?  When my husband worked and travelled, I would always leave a couple of little notes in his suitcase to find when he was away.

Make some Plans

Remember how excited you were when you first were together and all the dreams and plans you had for the future?  Recapture that feeling by making some plans for a holiday or something you want to do together.  Get excited again!

Perhaps as I said in my opening paragraph, we do need a day to examine our relationship and  remind us of how much we love our partner and perhaps Feb 14 St Valentine’s day is a good place to start.

What can you do to bring the spark back?

Don’t leave it to your partner to make things happen.  Make the first move, it is an equal partnership after all.


Let’s Keep Sizzling!













Women Living Well After 50

Living Life Your Way

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  • Reply Leanne@crestingthehill February 12, 2016 at 17:13

    It’s so easy to take each other for granted when you’ve been together for a long time, but those special moments when you reconnect are what keeps the fire burning. I think we’ll be heading out for a coffee date for Valentine’s Day – just to chat and relax and enjoy each other’s company. Thanks for the reminder Sue!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 14, 2016 at 11:42

      A coffee date sounds great. You can have a coffee at home but I think the idea of going out makes it much more special and yes you have time to talk in a different environment. Enjoy!

  • Reply Wendy February 14, 2016 at 01:57

    Gosh, I love this! I’m actually planning to do the romantic, candlelight dinner at home for Valentine’s Day. Can you believe that in almost 24 years, I have never done that?? I’m even going to tell him he has to dress up (a little!). 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 14, 2016 at 11:48

      Oh that sounds lovely Wendy! I’m sure your husband will dress up a little it is a special night after all. Enjoy!

  • Reply Mackenzie Glanville February 16, 2016 at 11:02

    I decided to embrace Valentines this year. Money is tight with the move (and all my naughty spending on house stuff) so I knew hubby wouldn’t want me spending a fortune on him, so I got creative. I took a bunch of photos of things like a big Valentines balloon display, a teddy bear holding a heart, a funny card, photos of me, and sent them to him. One each day for the week leading up to Valentines. I added little funny messages. On the day I gave him a funny T-shirt. He thought it was hilarious and the kids enjoyed seeing what he got each day too. I gave my three kids a Valentines chocolate and they lit up. We had a lovely family day with the kids and my hubby cooked a nice meal for dinner. I love all this advice Sue, I think when we work at things along the way it never feels like hard work. #mg

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2016 at 12:31

      Oh how lovely Mackenzie to include the children as well. we can show love in so many ways that don’t cost money. Usually these types of ways to show love mean more because we have put thought into them. Sounds like you had a lovely Valentine’s Day.

  • Reply Janice Wald February 18, 2016 at 03:16

    Hi Sue,
    I think people should show their love and express it all year round. This year Wayne and I didn’t exchange gifts, but we still went out to dinner to commemorate it.
    Thank you for bringing your post to the Bloggers Pit Stop Linky Party.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 19, 2016 at 06:35

      I agree Janice. We actually don’t exchange gifts on Valentine’s Day, probably because it has only become a big thing in Australia in the last 10 years or so. I do think though that it is a day to remind ourselves of what we have in our relationship and to reflect on how we love each other. Thank you for stopping by to comment and also for the Bloggers Pit Stop Linky Party. Have a lovely day!

  • Reply Kathleen February 18, 2016 at 09:25

    Sue, this post has been chosen by the Pit Stop Crew to be featured this week. Congratulations on another great post.


    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 19, 2016 at 06:42

      Oh Kathleen you don’t know how I needed something like this this week! I’ve haven’t been feeling motivated about my blog (probably spending too much time on it rather than finding balance) so this has given me a real boost. I’m honoured and happy that you all enjoyed my post. See you Friday!

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