A to Z Challenge 2016

‘Q’ is for Question – How asking questions builds self-confidence

April 20, 2016

ask questions


Let’s look at our inner strength, build self-confidence and self love.

Are you someone who questions? 

Someone who doesn’t accept things on face value but rather delves deeper to find the answer?

Unfortunately, most of us aren’t this way and if you are then CONGRATULATIONS!

Having the ability to question is so important for our health and well-being.  However there are many reasons why some of us just accept and don’t question the status quo.

The biggest reason is FEAR

  • Fear of appearing stupid
  • Fear of standing up for ourselves
  • Fear of confrontation
  • Fear of the answer

Fear of appearing stupid

I was always like this when I was younger.  I was self-conscious and never wanted to draw attention to myself.  I certainly never wanted people to think I didn’t know or understand.  I worried about what they thought of me and so I never questioned.  This was sometimes detrimental to my life but I put up with it.

Now I am older and wiser (I hope!), I realise that NO QUESTION IS EVER STUPID.  There is nothing wrong with asking ‘Why?’  Young children do it all the time – they haven’t learned about being self-conscious or having low esteem.  They are honest with their feelings – so should YOU!

Fear of Standing Up to be Heard

So many times I have heard from other women that they don’t have a voice, especially in mid life.  They feel invisible.  Well I’m here to tell you that you do – you maybe just don’t have the courage to speak up.

Having self-doubt and feeling we have nothing to contribute, stops us from speaking up and questioning our ‘lot in life’.

Reaching midlife has proven to me that I have a voice.  I realised this by having the courage to start my blog when I retired and learning that I have life experience and wisdom which others actually value.

You have so this ability too; so be brave, stand up and shout to the world ‘I AM IMPORTANT, I HAVE MUCH TO OFFER, I HAVE A VOICE’.

Fear of Confrontation

Very few people life confrontation.  We prefer to put up with situations we don’t like to ‘keep the peace’.  This is so detrimental to our mental and physical health.

Confrontation does not have to be aggressive.  By asking questions in a calm manner, we can diffuse the potentially aggressive situation and even get a result!

Fear of what the answer might be

Sometimes we don’t want to question because we are afraid of what the answer might be OR we actually know the answer but don’t want to hear it.

This affects our health because until we face the answers we will never be able to move forward.  There will always be a cloud hanging over us.

Remember your opinion counts, you have a voice so make sure you stand proud and be heard.Click To Tweet

What questions can you ask today to make your life healthier and happier?

Can you be brave enough to ask for answers that you might not want to hear?



Join me tomorrow for ‘R’ is for Relax, Recover & Refresh – Why taking a day off is important for our health & happiness

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  • Reply Toni Pike April 20, 2016 at 14:56

    Great article, Sue. I was always shy about asking questions at school and uni – and probably still am! Maybe now I’ll make more of an effort.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 21, 2016 at 06:58

      Oh me too Toni! It is hard but I’m really trying now to have the attitude ‘what is the worst that can happen’. I always felt foolish until I was told that ‘no question is ever stupid’. I think I hold back especially if I think there is confrontation involved. Have a beautiful day my friend. x

  • Reply Deepti Agrawal April 20, 2016 at 17:24

    Very true Sue.. Fear always held me back asking.. Now when i think of it I do not understand .. what are we afraid off?? I got my answers from you.. without even asking 🙂 about the kind of fear.. I hope from now onwards will try to be a bit fearless and ask .. its better to be a fool for 5 min then forever.


    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 21, 2016 at 06:59

      Yes I think many of us feel this way Deepti. I’m so pleased you feel empowered by the post and I’m sure you will overcome the fear. Remember most of us feel the same way. Thanks for stopping by to comment and have a beautiful day. x

  • Reply Jeffrey Scott April 20, 2016 at 20:36

    I have to admit, I’m bad at asking questions. I like to try and figure something out on my own. In part because I have that fear of appearing stupid, and in part because a shy person in real life and have a hard time speaking to other people if I don’t know them fondly. Truth is, it has stopped me from asking a question I really needed to ask.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 21, 2016 at 07:01

      Is there still time to ask the question Jeffrey? It is difficult if you are shy I’m like that and I don’t want to appear stupid. Getting older has helped me be a little braver.

  • Reply Kala Ravi April 20, 2016 at 21:18

    True that Sue! We fear the repercussions of impertinent questions and sometimes even pertinent ones! I do hope my kids will be a braver lot! Asking questions makes us braver and raises our self-esteem.
    @KalaRavi16 from

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 21, 2016 at 07:02

      Yes Kala I think we are teaching our children to be braver in many areas of life which is great. I’m trying to be braver as I get older and not live in ignorance because I was too scared to ask. 🙂

  • Reply Leanne@crestingthehill April 20, 2016 at 22:50

    I go with the idea of not asking questions you don’t want the answers to. So if there is something like that floating around it makes me take a closer look at my reasoning and trying to see what it is that’s holding me back. I still tend to bluff my way through things sometimes but I’m getting better at asking rather than stumbling around in the dark! Leanne @ cresting the hill

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 21, 2016 at 07:04

      Yes I hear you Leanne. I getting braver and taking the attitude of ‘what the worst that can happen’ situation. I never wanted to appear foolish but in the end it was detrimental to me.

  • Reply Mary Lou April 21, 2016 at 21:31

    Awesome, Sue! Leanne told me your Letter Q was Question like mine! I’m going to share this. 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 22, 2016 at 16:46

      thanks Mary Lou! I’ve read most of your posts but need to catch up. Thank you so much for sharing and have a great day!

  • Reply Ranee Kaur Banerjee April 22, 2016 at 18:21

    Great stuff. I’m a first timer at the April A-Z Challenge and I’m so glad I stumbled across your blog! I’m sure I’ll keep coming back for more. I’m also into my 50s and intend to sizzle the 60s and I did Q for Questioning too, on my blog.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric April 23, 2016 at 07:33

      Oh hi Ranee! I’m so glad you found my blog and I look forward to getting to know you. I will have to pop over to read your A-Z posts. It is my first time with the challenge too! Have a great day!

  • Reply gigi June 3, 2016 at 18:39

    Oh yeah, I hate confrontation. I know some people thrive on it. Not me. I don’t have problems asking lots of questions, tho! I would always rather ask questions and find out what COULD happen,…even if the possibilities of it happening are slim! It helps me make plans!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric June 5, 2016 at 16:05

      Yes I’m not afraid any more about asking questions but I do think it is a confidence thing.

  • Reply Christina February 14, 2017 at 08:25

    This is one of the things that worries me about my daughter, she never asks questions! I think she worries she will look dumb, or intrusive. I hope she overcomes it before midlife!

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