Micro Mondays Over 50s Lifestyle WOTY 2022 - BE

Overcoming the ‘I’ll be happy when’ syndrome

January 10, 2022

In this week’s Micro Mondays episode on the Women Living Well After 50 Podcast, I’m discussing the importance of finding happiness in the ‘Now’ not ‘When’. You can listen to the podcast episode which also includes a one minute meditation to reset and refocus for the week ahead.

‘I’ll be happy when…….’ you can fill in the blank but whatever you write, will it really make you happy?

The ‘Now’ for many of us over the last couple of years hasn’t been brilliant and I’m sure we have all looked to the future. A friend suggested that 2022 hasn’t really started much better than where we finished in 2021 and the COVID woes just seem to have continued to flow into the New Year.

I agree, it is difficult and I don’t see improvement with COVID anytime soon, so that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy now.so I’ve decided that I don’t want to wait for happiness, I don’t want to wait for life to get better, I want it to happen right now and that’s up to me. I want to find happiness in the ‘Now’ no matter that life might not be perfect. I’m mean, is life ever perfect?

A friend gifted me the ‘Manifesting Challenge’ with Gabby Bernstein. It is a 21 day challenge to help ‘clear the blocks from 2021 and step into the New Year with confidence and magnetic attracting power.’

In Day 5 of the challenge Gabby discusses the ‘“I’ll be happy when” syndrome’. We think that placing importance on something external will make us happy when we should make feeling good within ourselves a priority.

We all want to be happy don’t we? But, too often we focus on the future rather than on the here and now. Our happiness depends on ourselves and happiness is different for everyone. We are unique and happiness means different things to each of us.

Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside yourself to make you happy in the future.

Earl Nightingale

My WOTY for 2022 is ‘BE’ and as I wrote in my post ‘Just Be’ – Living Life Your Way in 2022, it is a small word but can have a big impact. I am committed to being in the moment and appreciating the ‘Now’ not ‘When’. It can be so easy to miss out on the small, yet precious things because we are looking forward with anticipation or looking back with regret.

I’m a planner. I like to plan and have goals but in the past I’ve been guilty of looking to the future as I work towards my goal, looking at the end goal, the finish line, rather than appreciating the ‘journey along the way’. A little bit like going on a holiday and you’re clicking away taking lot of photos but you are actually missing out on the moment. You’re not standing there breathing in the atmosphere and taking a photo with my mind appreciating the view and experience.

3 reasons to find happiness in the ‘Now’ not ‘When’ – even when the ‘Now’ is not great

  • Life is too short to wait and the future is unpredictable – make every moment count. Be in the present and appreciate the little things in life.
  • Feeling happy and positive is good for our mental & physical health and well-being. When you laugh, smile and feel happiness we have a positive mindset.
  • We develop a sense of gratitude for all that is precious in our life. By trying to be happy in the Now and appreciating what we have Now brings a sense of calm, peace and appreciation and gratitude.

Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.

Mandy Hale

So don’t think about what your life should like. Don’t compare yourself to others and how they are finding happiness or how their life looks. Concentrate on what brings you happiness, no comparison but Living Life Your Way and finding what works for you.

Do not set aside your happiness. Do not wait to be happy in the future. The best time to be happy is always now.

Roy T Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Smile, put some music on and dance, find happiness in nature. Do whatever makes you ‘feel’ happiness.

“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair…”

Susan Polis Schutz

Will you ‘dance in the sun wearing wild flowers in your hair?’, making the most of life now?

Will you stop living in the future and not experiencing the joys and happiness life can bring you Now?

What will you do today to find happiness in the ‘NOW’ and not ‘When’?

Sue Loncaric

Women Living Well After 50

Living Life Your Way

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18 Comments

  • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au January 10, 2022 at 10:50

    Hi Sue – I think you’re spot on about not waiting to be happy. The times we live in are very uncertain and completely out of our control. Basing our happiness around waiting for the world to “get back to normal” means we miss out on all the small joys that are still present in our lives every day. I think focusing on the positives, being grateful for our blessings, refusing to compare, and just appreciating how good we have it here in Australia (despite omicron!) is the way to go. I also choose to not get caught up in all the doom and gloom – it’s a killer!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 11, 2022 at 10:58

      Life is too short Leanne and after the year we had last year, we need to start living again. x

  • Reply Debbie Harris January 10, 2022 at 16:57

    Great words of wisdom, thanks Sue for the reminder. Happiness isn’t something we need to wait for, top me it’s making the most of what is happening now. I love the idea of dancing in the sun with flowers in our hair – I’ll definitely join you! Thanks as always for the inspiration and reminders of life is how we choose to live it!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 11, 2022 at 10:58

      So right, Deb and there is so much doom and gloom around it is easy to let that over take our daily life. I’ll buy the flowers for us, shall I? 🙂

  • Reply Susanne January 10, 2022 at 20:41

    Thanks for the reminder and inspiration! I couldn’t agree more – the Mandy Hale (and other) quote is spot on.
    I used to be very much an “I’ll be happy when” person, but the pandemic has taught me to create joy in the present. That has been the only option to keep sane in the head. I’ve kept learning new things since 2020 and while I’ve had some very dark times, I’ve had a lot of joy too and I can look back on these two years and be happy about things I’ve done, enjoyed and achieved. I’ll continue doing that.
    I may not dance with flowers in my hair at least not right now, but yesterday I decided to forget about the Covid misery that is going on, and make this January fun and joyful, by joining a new guitar class on Zoom, that is more advanced than what I normally do, to learn something new and totally indulge in music. Because as you say, life is too short!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 11, 2022 at 11:03

      Hello Susanne and you’ve made my day with your comment. I loved the Mandy Hale quote too it was my favourite of the three. Like you I was an ‘I’ll be happen when’ person but the last year in particular, has taught me that life is too short to way. Good for you taking up the guitar class on Zoom you are very talented. Enjoy your week and thanks for stopping by xx

  • Reply Toni Pike January 11, 2022 at 13:13

    Such a great post, Sue. I think if we have that inner state of happiness, it stays with us all the time no matter what happens and that is what we should be striving for in life. Toni x

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 11, 2022 at 16:21

      Thanks Toni, last year was so difficult that it made me realise time is too short not to make the most of every day. xx

  • Reply Denyse Whelan January 12, 2022 at 15:42

    You are doing your utmost to be the woman you want to be and it’s great to see how you are planning and then assessing your needs too.

    Yes, I have been guilty of using the phone to take pics rather than take in the whole sensory experience in nature so that is definitely improving for me.

    Thank you for sharing your post with us for Life This Week Link Up at Denyse Whelan Blogs. I hope to see you back next Monday. Denyse.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 16, 2022 at 10:53

      I try Denyse and that is all I can do. I’m sharing what I do because it may just help someone else who is feeling the same me and that’s a good thing. x

  • Reply Deborah Cook January 13, 2022 at 08:56

    This is a huge one for me Sue as I’ve always been a ‘I’ll be happy WHEN….’ And either I’ve not achieved that thing – reached an ideal weight for eg. Or I’ve done it (got a certain job) but realise it’s either not what I expected or it’s now not enough.

    There’s some term isn’t there, implying that we keep wanting to climb the next mountain, never satisfied with what we have achieved…. and of course (in my case) it’s because I’m not happy with myself so I look for the validation elsewhere. (Sigh)

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 16, 2022 at 10:54

      Hi Deb, I totally agree with your last sentence and I think I’m very much like that (I’m trying to be better though). I look for validation elsewhere instead of finding happiness and contentment within my self. Reach out if I can be of any help. Enjoy your week. xx

  • Reply Natalie January 15, 2022 at 11:31

    Hi Sue, Great advice and reminder. I’m grateful for every new day and do enjoy it the best I can. Thank you for linking up with #weekendcoffeeshare. Have a beautiful week!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 16, 2022 at 10:57

      Thanks Natalie! It is so easy to forget and get caught up in daily life. I’m really trying to live each day in the moment in 2022. x

  • Reply Julie January 17, 2022 at 11:02

    This is great advice. I can be happy now, not later. Why should my happiness be conditional based on an event? I’ve been actively working on that. My BILs who have been living with us have told us they want to move back to San Diego, they feel it would make them happier, but I question what are they doing about it? Are they looking for jobs down there? Are they looking for housing? These are things they could work on now.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 19, 2022 at 05:06

      Hi Julie, you’ve asked some good questions for your BILs to ponder and I hope they take your advice. It is no good looking to ‘when’ if you aren’t working on the ‘now’. Thanks for visiting and have a great week. x

  • Reply Kirstin January 19, 2022 at 03:28

    So good Sue. I pinned this so I can come back and read it again.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 19, 2022 at 05:00

      I’m so pleased you enjoyed the post, Kirstin and thank for pinning. Have a great week!x

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