As you would have read, I’ve been taking a break from blogging whilst supporting my husband after the loss of my dear mother-in-law in late October. It has been a difficult time not only for our loss and adjusting to life without this delightful 94 year old, but also I’ve been struggling to regain my place in the world.
I’ve been questioning my path; do I continue blogging, podcasting, my Facebook group or not? After a loss it is normal to reassess life and how we are living it. My husband, for example is 73 and for at least 65 of those years has been responsible in some form or other for his Mum and Dad, who had come to Australia from Italy in 1952.
Now that we no longer have that responsibility, we are both looking at life, knowing that the sands are quickly draining through the hour glass of life and wondering how to spend this time to make the most of everyday.
I’ve realised that I do miss my blogging, the podcast and Facebook interaction, but I also have realised that I need to balance this with spending quality time with my husband as well as trying new things in 2021.
I also accept that I’m not in the right mindset yet, to step back into this world in the same capacity as I did before – but I feel a yearning deep inside which will probably bring me back sooner rather than later.
I’ve been using the last few weeks to step back, not follow any timetable and just taking life slowly. I know I must be slowly coming back as the ‘up and down’ feelings are becoming less, I feel more energised and because I’ve written a blog post!
I came across a regular weekly email from Peta Gillian at Strong Healthy Women that I had received some time ago. The topic was Nourishment. No, not nourishment derived from food but rather nourishment for all of our senses – touch, smell, taste, sight and sound.
Too often, we rush through each day without taking time to nourish our senses – to be present.
I’ve had this time during the last couple of weeks, so the email was a reminder to reconnect with myself and my senses. I’m sharing Peta’s thoughts as well as some of my own, with you and hope you will take some time to reconnect with yourself.
Nourishment for the Senses
Peta gave five suggestions:
- Seek out and nurture relationships that make you feel good and say goodbye to the ones that drain your energy.
- Remember, that your environment affects your mood and energy. So it’s time to ditch the home office, it’s time to kick off your shoes and run around outside and feel the sunshine on your back and breeze on your skin.
- We spend so much of our time alone at our computers or behind high walls and yet it’s so important for our spirits to make connections with others. So, join a club, meet up on line and make new connections!
- Sleep —there is just nothing quite like sleep to rejuvenate your body and restore your entire system to better functioning.
- Movement sparks your endorphins, which make you feel energised and excited and keeps the oxygen circulating through your system, so you can feel refreshed and alive.
I would also add:
- Create a morning ritual to start your day. One that works for you and not necessarily what others are saying we should do
- Self-care is self-respect so ensure that you make time for your needs – mentally, physically and spiritually
- Breathe – when you feel yourself tensing or becoming overwhelmed during the day taking some time to close your eyes, take some deep breaths and focus on your breathing to clear your mind and reduce tension.
- Create a space just for you in your home – a corner where you can relax read a book, meditate or journal. Be creative and make the space unique to you. Make it a space that you love being in and is also pleasing to the eye.
- Create an atmosphere to allow you to enjoy a special meal and savour the flavours. Be mindful of the taste of the food that you are eating, the aroma that you smell, the different herbs and spices that add flavour.
- Create a playlist of your favourite music and songs
- Keep your brain healthy by learning and delving into your creative side, you may surprise yourself.
These are some ideas for nourishing your senses. Can you add to the list?
29 Comments
Nourish is a beautiful word, Sue. Like you describe well, it is normal to reassess our life after a loss. I also feel the sands of time slipping away too quickly. Great suggestions for nourishment. I know you speak lovingly of your grandchildren. Spending time with them (when we can) always brings me into the joyful, present moment. I sometimes have to make a conscious effort to watch where I spend my precious resource “time” and “energy.” I appreciate you sharing your candid feelings. Hugs. xx
The grandchildren bring so much joy and laughter, don’t they Erica? I know you enjoy this special moments with your beautiful grandchildren and we are very lucky to have them. Thank you for your friendship, support and hugs which are gratefully received. Have a beautiful day. xx
Hi Sue, grief can overwhelm you for a while and make you question everything. You’re doing the right thing by stepping back and nourishing yourself. In time you’ll feel more like yourself but don’t push yourself. Take care, Christina
Thanks Christina and I hope you are feeling better these days. I’m starting to feel better with each day but being careful not to rush into things. It is quite liberating really just taking each day as it comes. Take care and thanks for visiting. xx
Grief can be overwhelming Sue. If it’s best to just ‘be with’ however you’re feeling on any given day. I’ve been thinking of you over the past few weeks. Take all the time you need. We will all be here when you decide the time is right. I did love to see that you’d published this post today.
Thanks Jen, I published because I felt I had something to offer. Lately, I’ve questioned the blog as I’ve understandably not felt in a creative mindset. I can feel it slowly coming back though and am encouraged by your words and kind thoughts. Have a beautiful day and thanks for visiting. x
Hi Sue – I think grief affects everyone differently – some move on through pushing themselves to return to “normal” as quickly as possible, and others take time out to reassess and refresh. The loss of a loved one definitely brings home our own mortality and how we want to spend this “one wild, precious life” we’ve been given. I’m glad you’re being kind to yourself and only doing what feels right and that nourishes your soul (and senses) – there’s plenty of time for blogging, podcasting, and whatever else – and I think you’ll gradually feel the “vibe” come back as you settle into a new normal and figure out what’s important and how you want to spend your time from here on out.
Sending you much love and a big virtual hug xx
Hi Leanne, yes I agree, grief or loss affects everyone in a different way. For me, I’ve felt disconnected but with the love and support from family and friends like yourself, I’m giving myself permission to just do what is right for me now in the present moment and accept that. Thank you for your friendship, love and virtual hug which I am very grateful for. xx
Hello Sue. Sending love to you and your husband. It’s good to reassess on occasion. I know you’ll find the right balance for you. Thank you for this reminder to nourish all parts of myself today.
Hello Christie! Lovely to hear from you and thank you for your loving thoughts. We are feeling better with each day but as you know with the loss of your Mum, you really never get over the loss but rather learn to live with it. xx
I’m very sorry for your loss. It’s a very hard grief to deal with, and 6 weeks is not very long to have ‘recovered’, so to speak. Go easy and sit with it when you need to. As for the blogging – I blog from 6-7.30 and then don’t really touch it for the rest of the day. It’s my ‘me’ time. So you can do both if you like, but maybe not make the money or have the reach you are accustomed to. Just make it work for you, if it fulfills you. That’s my 2 cents. (Mine as you might have worked out, is like a therapy for me – so I don’t bore my friends with every nagging thought in my head) – good luck whatever you decide #Lifethisweek
Hi Lydia, your comment is worth more than 2 cents and I totally agree that I need to just be more relaxed about the whole blogging thing. I’ve never made any money from blogging but always felt guilty if I didn’t post. I am now just taking it week by week and if I don’t have anything to say then I won’t post. Thank you for your kind thoughts and good wishes and have a beautiful day. xx
Hi Sue, it feels like ages since I’ve chatted/spoken/written to you! I know how you’re feeling very much. It’ll be 3 years on 2 December since I lost Dad and I still am learning to live with it. I’m still grieving and probably always will be but hopefully will get better at living with it with time. I too have had a step back from blogging and have only just recently felt ready to manage one post per week and so am doing that now but if one week I don’t feel up to it, then I am not going to beat myself up about it. My reasons for a break might be different to yours but the need to step back the same – to look after myself. I also agree that we need to find a balance in life between actually living life and blogging about life. It’s so easy to get caught up online. I still struggle with it and am aware I am scrolling on my phone far too much. Yesterday I got in my pool for a swim for the first time this season and then I started tidying up the palm trees around it, removing dead ones etc. Before I knew it, several hours had passed and I’d had no screen time at all and it felt good. I need to do that more often. You’re in the early stages of grief right now so you’re doing the right thing by lightening your load, taking time out for yourself, and gently reassessing what feels right for you moving forward. xo
Hi Min, it is so lovely to hear from you and yes, you certainly know what it feels like to lose a parent. I still miss my Mum and Dad even though it has been 35 and 40 years. Yesterday, I put up the Christmas tree, baked and went for a walk with Mike. I’ve been enjoying less screen time although as you say it is easy to just sit and scroll through social media. I’m trying hard not to feel guilty if I don’t post but I do believe I’m becoming more relaxed about it all. Thanks for your comment and as I said it is lovely to hear from you. Thinking of you and take care. xx
Welcome back to blogging, Sue. I missed you even though I understood your need to take a break. You have written many excellent suggestions for nourishment. Wishing you bits of joy every day. Hugs xx #lifethisweek
Thank you Natalie, I’ve missed my blogging friends and not sure if I’m totally back but it felt good to write again. have a lovely week. xx
I certainly need to look at how I nourish myself every day as I currently do it in an unhealthy way. Food, wine and so forth. Of course that results in guilt and frustration with myself and often hatred. I hope you’re both slowly healing and even though I still have my mother know that sense of loss, change and thoughts of one’s legacy.
I’ve been trying to work out why I’ve struggled so much over the last year or two and I put it down to confidence and unemployment but I think it’s also becoming conscious that life is short and I need to figure out what I’ll do with what’s left of it. Particularly… after my mother’s gone and I’m essentially alone.
Hi Deb, I hear you about becoming conscious of life and how short it is. I’m 63 the age my Mum died, and my husband is 73. Even though I don’t think of myself as an age it is inevitable that we do ponder how we want to live the second half of our lives. Sending you hugs and hope you can find joy and peace in 2021. xx
So true! Nourishing ourselves goes far beyond what we eat, and the things we feed our senses and our soul are so important. Love these suggestions!
Hello Bella, thank you for visiting and leaving me your comment. I take a holistic approach to life and health and so it is a natural progression to look at nourishment the same way – physically, mentally, spiritually. Have a beautiful day x
I really feel for you Sue and understand the range of emotions you must be feeling. In my experience, some days are good and others not so good, so just do what you can when and if you feel up to it. You voice the needs of your body well in this post and ‘nourish’ is the perfect word as Erica said. We are all here for you and there’s never any pressure, except what we put on ourselves top blog and interact with others. You are still grieving and may do so for ages yet. Lots of love to you during this hard time and sending hugs your way xx #lifethisweek
Thank you Deb for your supportive words and I know that you have had your own challenges especially over the last couple of year, so you are well placed to give me some advice. It feels so much easier to cope when you just give yourself permission to step back and I know I’m feeling much better this week than last. xx
Lovely to see you back here Sue but just as importantly it’s good to know you are making choices about what and when now via blogging. Life shifts so quickly and I am pretty sure, no matter how prepared we may feel we are, the death of someone who you have known for a long time, and your husband for his whole life is HUGE. I liken my life now to having more freedom to choose than I have ever had in my life. I am now free of work obligations, family caring AND cancer treatments too. I am loving being ‘timetable’ flexible’. Grief never really goes away as you well know but it can, over time, settle gently in your heart and soul. Thinking of you.
Thank you so much for linking up this week for #lifethisweek. We are nearly at the end of 2020 and only a few optional prompts left! Next week is 49/51 Lucky 7.12.2020. Hope to see you there. Denyse.
Beautiful self care suggestions. I also lost a loved one a few months back – my 90 year old mum. I miss her.
I’ve been going through a similar sort of thought process too, Sue, though not prompted by a sudden sad event. I love my writing, blogging and social media but it is incredibly time consuming (I’m a very slow and pedantic writer) but it consumes so much of my time. Sometimes it seems I’m out there all by myself and question why I’m doing it . I’m trying to compartmentalise more to spend more time in the moment and enjoying everything around. Hope you find the balance that’s right for you.
Thanks Christine for your supportive comments and it is comforting to know that other bloggers sometimes question why they blog. I like your idea of compartmentalising more so you can enjoy life. I’m working towards that too. xx
Welcome back and you should certainly take the time to think about what you want to do.
I often talk about nourishment in the non-foodish sense and I usually mean creativity. When I spend time with people who feel passionately about writing, blogging and creative stuff I come away feeling nourished. Enriched I guess.
So sorry for your family’s loss, Sue – go gently and be kind to yourselves won’t you? I love your sage advice about “diet” – I think blogging is like most things in life, if it fills your cup, do it and if it doesn’t, don’t (at least for a while.) Life is short, do what you love!
I am glad you blogged as I mentioned earlier and I welcome you back any time you are ready with a post.
Thank you so much for your blogging friendship, linking up as you have in 2020 and looking forward to more in 2021 when Life This Week begins…the link up I mean on 4 Jan 2021 with “Word of the Year” as an optional prompt. Stay safe and well, and see you soon…Denyse.