Over 50s Lifestyle

Making TIME for the most important love of all

February 14, 2023

Valentine’s Day, a day devoted to Love, although for me (and many of you), I question why we need one day each year to be reminded to show love. Shouldn’t that be every day?

I am very fortunate to be surrounded by love – from my husband, my children, my grandchildren and my friends (IRL and online). I also know that the special people in my life, know how much I love them because I show them each day – even in the smallest of ways.

It is easy though to fall out of the habit of showing those we love that we care. For 2023, TIME (and using it wisely) is my focus so I’m making a conscious effort to do things with my time that bring joy and contentment. To show my love to those in my inner circle at every opportunity. To tell them I love them because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Recently, we moved back to Brisbane so we could be closer to my family. I feel the love from my grandsons everytime they see me. In fact, as I walk through the gate and they are at the window and shout ‘Nan’s here!’ I feel like a rockstar. They both tell me they love me spontaneously at different times and it fills my heart with endless joy and love.

I have the love of my darling husband and will be celebrating a special wedding anniversary in April. We certainly have had an interesting life together and despite it all the love is still strong. I’ve recently reintroduced our Home Restaurant Date Nights where we take turns in making a special me for each other. We enjoy travelling and have two holidays booked for June and November to look forward to.

My children show me love in many ways and I sometimes forget they are adults now in their 40s with lives of their own. I think we are always Mums though, and a mother/child love is such a strong, bond. A mother’s love is unconditional.

My friends are constantly showing me love and support and vice versa. I am so grateful to have them all in my life.

So I’ve written about the love I’m surrounded by and the love I give, but what about the title of my post?

Making TIME for the most important love of all

I recently was chatting with a guest, Susie Pettit during an upcoming episode of the Women Living Well After 50 podcast. We were discussing how to live the life we love by setting healthy boundaries. (It is a great interview so watch this space). During the interview, Susie suggested that the one relationship that is with you all your life is the one you have with yourself.

Self-love is a term that seems to be everywhere but what does it actually mean? Take a moment to think about it…….

Self-love is the foundation that allows us to be assertive, set boundaries and create healthy relationships with others, practice self-care, pursue our interests and goals, and feel proud of who we are.

Sharon Martin, LCSW.

Why should we make the time to show ourselves love and compassion?

“There is you and you. This is a relationship. This is the most important relationship.”

―Nayyirah Waheed

5 reasons why you should take TIME to experience self-love

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Buddha
  1. Builds Self-Respect – we respect others and their beliefs but sometimes we don’t respect ourselves. We treat ourselves less than we would others. We aren’t always kind to ourselves. We allow the negative voice in our head to pull us down. Would we treat others like that? No, we wouldn’t.
  2. Builds Self-Confidence – if we respect ourselves and show ourselves kindness we build self-confidence to ensure that we create healthy boundaries. We have the confidence to say ‘No’ if something is robbing us of joy or being able to decline if we don’t want to do something because it doesn’t align with our core values. We have the confidence to guard our time to use is wisely rather than saying ‘Yes’ all the time.
  3. Builds a positive view – if we love ourselves we have a more positive attitude towards our life.
  4. Enables you to accept who you are as a person. You avoid the comparison trap, comparing yourself to others and you stay true to yourself.“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”—Buddha
  5. Keeps you healthy and happy – looking after your mind and body through movement, healthy eating and taking time out has wonderful benefits to you overall health and happiness.

Take some time today to listen to Whitney as a reminder of the greatest love of all

How will you show yourself some love today? A happier you will be a healthier you plus a bonus for your family and friends. Sending love to you xx

Sue Loncaric

Women Living Well After 50

Living Life Your Way

19 Comments

  • Reply leannelc February 14, 2023 at 13:06

    Hi Sue – you were on the same wavelength as Christie (from So What, Now What?) and I think you’re both right that we need to remember to be kind to ourselves and not neglect our own needs as we give out to others. I’m also beyond grateful for my husband, family, and friends – we’re so blessed aren’t we? Happy V Day!

  • Reply Toni Pike February 14, 2023 at 14:16

    Hi Sue, I’m really not interested in Valentine’s Day – I think it’s all bit silly, to be honest, but I’m 100% in favour of showing love to myself, and I’ll be trying to do that. Thanks for reminding me in this wonderful post. Toni x

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2023 at 08:19

      Hi Toni, I’m not really interested in Valentine’s Day either. I think we should show our love every day. xx

  • Reply Min Write of the Middle February 15, 2023 at 10:28

    Hi Sue, beautiful! Those little grandsons saying ‘Nan’s here’ would be so wonderful! Self love as you say though is the most important of all or else we’re no good to anyone. I’ve improved a lot with it in many areas (putting boundaries in place, understanding myself better, doing things I enjoy doing etc) but there are still some aspects that need a lot more work (inner critic being the main one). xo

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2023 at 08:20

      There is something so special about a grandchild’s love and my two grandsons just fill me with joy everytime I see them. xx

  • Reply Jo February 15, 2023 at 10:35

    Firstly, what a beautiful song. I’m not a big one for Valentine’s Day, but sometimes we do need a reminder to put our important relationships frint and centre…and that includes the one we have with ourselves.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2023 at 08:20

      I always get teary when I hear this song, Jo. x

  • Reply Retirement Reflections February 15, 2023 at 11:44

    Hi, Sue – Although I can be a sucker for Valentine’s day, I totally agree with you — we should be showing love to others, and to our selves, every single day.
    Sending much love to you – and thanking you for all that you do.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2023 at 08:21

      I think it is lovely that you celebrate Valentine’s Day, Donna and I loved the poem that the software wrote for Richard. x

  • Reply Debbie February 16, 2023 at 14:27

    Hi Sue, this a very timely post for us all. The one person we often overlook is ourself, so many thanks for the reminder, quotes and tips. You are so loved by many and bring joy to those around you. I love the boys ‘Nan’s here’ comment. Dottie often tells me over facetime, ‘I love you Granny’ and tells her mother that she misses me, so sweet and loving!! Thanks again for all you do to make life a happier place.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2023 at 08:21

      Grandchildren can just make our day, can’t they Deb? They make us feel so special. xx

  • Reply Denyse Whelan Blogs February 16, 2023 at 18:22

    Thank YOU for helping me share privately just how tough things were for me yesterday when my “emotional self” had over done things. It is a tricky beast this care for ourselves. We were made to care for others first I think. A timely and thoughtful post Sue. Thank you for sharing your post for this week’s Wednesdays Words and Pics. The “good news” I mentioned in my intro this week is that we have found & secured a new place to live, where we hoped for, and next week’s post will explain more! Take care, and I hope to see you next week too. Denyse.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2023 at 08:22

      We support each other Denyse, that is what friendship is all about. xx

  • Reply Gail Is This Mutton February 16, 2023 at 18:30

    I was going to show myself some love on Valentine’s Day by buying some flowers, but I baulk at the cost and carbon footprint of the flowers on that particular day! Making a conscious effort in 2023 to be kinder to myself.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2023 at 08:22

      Hi Gail, just being kinder to ourselves and taking time out when we need it is showing ourselve love. Flowers are lovely but they don’t last forever. x

  • Reply Lydia C. Lee February 17, 2023 at 14:37

    Interestingly I saw a few ‘Valentine’s day’ messages on that. I think it’s a really important post. And it can change everything. I went to a Lizzo concert and it was a whole lot of that – like we were in an Opera conference. Great stuff. I think women spend their wole lives focused on others. Life is so muchmore simpler when you look after yourself (and i don’t mean not have a partner or kids, but take a bit of time to really focus on you)

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 19, 2023 at 13:18

      Yes, Lydia, I saw quite a few Valentine’s messages relating to loving ourselves and we can still take care of others, as long as we carve out some time for ourselves. x

  • Reply OnceUponaTimeHappilyEverAfter.com February 20, 2023 at 08:44

    I remember shopping for shoes for my girls with holes in my own shoes. But this year, I am finally finding little ways to put myself first some of the time. I will do more of what I love to do and less of what I feel obligated to do. Just scrapbooked and Facetimed with my sister. It was delightful. Off to run on the treadmill BEFORE I fix dinner instead of fixing dinner and possibly not getting to it.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 22, 2023 at 12:47

      Hi Leslie so wonderful to hear that you are finding ways to put yourself first. You are such a loving and caring person who deserves so much xx

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