Body Image Movement Over 50s Lifestyle

Love and why you should love yourself first.

February 13, 2017



love yourself first


Valentine’s Day is upon us and thoughts turn to love and especially the love of and for our partner.  However, I want to talk about a more important kind of love – Self-Love.  Appreciating who we are and loving the person we are.

Just over a year ago I wrote a post ‘How Learning to Love Yourself Will Make you A Better Person.’  I discussed how most women find it difficult to love themselves and also outlined 6 ways we could start learning to love ourselves.  I would love you to read this so just click here.

i was also reminded again of why we should love ourselves with a quote I read recently in a novel by Cathy Kelly, ‘Once in a Lifetime’.


love yourself

Why you should love yourself first

We spend most of our life being told to love others and put ourselves a very long last in the order of life.  However, loving ourselves makes us more confident and happier.

I know it feels strange to talk about loving ourselves.  Sometimes we feel it is a form of vanity and we certainly don’t enjoy giving ourselves compliments or appreciating both our physical and spiritual beauty.  That means also learning to accept compliments from others graciously.

love yourself

Being a Body Image Movement Global Ambassador I constantly see women who degrade their physical appearance and lack any form of self-worth.

love yourself


On this Valentine’s Day why not think about how you can show yourself some love, kindness and appreciation for the fabulous woman you are.

love yourself

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Women Living Well After 50

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  • Reply Sydney Shop Girl February 13, 2017 at 07:03

    An important message at any time of the year, Sue!

    Thanks as always for your Monday words of wisdom and inpsiration.

    SSG xxx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 13, 2017 at 09:22

      Thanks SSG and have a beautiful week!

  • Reply Deborah February 13, 2017 at 08:31

    Ah yes…. I’ve always been single and tend to wallow a bit because of it. “Poor me,” kind of thing. But, I also blame myself – being too fat to attract anyone etc. But I see other larger people in couples and wonder if it’s cos they aren’t as fussy or if the reason is perhaps that it’d be pretty much impossible for anyone to see me as worthy or loveable if I don’t?!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 13, 2017 at 09:24

      Oh Deb you are so hard on yourself. You are beautiful. It isn’t about looks, my PT is gorgeous and yet has been unlucky in love. I think if we are happy with our own company and love the person we are, that shines through and then when you aren’t looking sometimes a new Love appears. Just remember you are beautiful and have a lovely day xx

  • Reply Jo Tracey February 13, 2017 at 11:32

    I’ve never considered myself as pretty or sexy, but at the same time, I’ve never equated that with unloveable. I think perhaps because each of my important relationships have been with me who I’ve loved as friends and have grown to be in love with. Great message.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 13, 2017 at 11:50

      Hi Jo! What a lovely way to fall in love. Friendships first which then develop into love is to me a wonderful way to develop relationships. The ‘love at first sight’ can be exciting in the moment but sadly, usually doesn’t go the distance. Have a beautiful day Jo. xx

  • Reply Jan Wild February 13, 2017 at 13:11

    One of the reasons I love the #everydaystyle community that Nikki Parkinson has created is that the focus in on each of us loving ourselves the way we are and dressing to make the most of the assets we each have. Of course there is more to self love than the physical, but it is a great place to start.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:27

      I must check it out Jan as I always see you looking lovely on Instagram. I think self love of our physical appearance is a very important part. If we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see it is even harder to love or like ourselves.

  • Reply Denyse Whelan Blogs February 13, 2017 at 14:47

    You write a most empowering post Sue and I think your message is spot on! By the way, recent research by me has unearthed more about why it is so hard to self-love/be compassionate and it is tied up with our need to self-preserve. The reason it is built within us to connect is so we survive as we need to be in packs. This is way long ago stuff that has stayed in our genetic makeup. Thanks for linking up for #lifethisweek 7/52. Next Week: A Pet Story.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:27

      Thank you Denyse. Interesting thoughts about self-preservation and our survival skills.

  • Reply Leanne | crestingthehill February 13, 2017 at 20:06

    It has taken me a long time to be able to think kindly of myself and to see the value that is intrinsically mine. It’s not about physical beauty, but rather becoming a beautiful soul. Inner beauty is so attractive and it’s a big factor in helping us hang in there during tough times in our relationships too.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:28

      Me too Leanne. I know that I’m no model but when I’m happy and feeling good inside it does show on the outside. Being a beautiful soul always shines through.

  • Reply AJ Sefton February 13, 2017 at 23:00

    I think the confusing thing is what is meant by ‘love’ and what it means when applied to oneself. I take it that to value myself, care for and respect me, is what it means.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:29

      Exactly, A J, respecting yourself as a person and valuing yourself. Love comes in many forms.

  • Reply Carol Cassara February 13, 2017 at 23:02

    HOW VERY TRUE! It surprises me how many in our age group haven’t gotten this yet.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:31

      I know Carol. There are still so many women who don’t value themselves and some would even scoff at the idea of self love. Unfortunately, they are products of their time. Fortunately for some of us we have embraced the idea and feel happier for it.

  • Reply Jennifer February 13, 2017 at 23:12

    Great reminder. Sad that when I was younger, I didn’t love myself as much. So much wasted time. It took getting older for me to realize that I can and do love myself just as I am.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:32

      That is the same for most of us Jennifer but at least we have realised before it is too late. It can be so soul destroying having a negative attitude to ourselves.

  • Reply Anna R Palmer February 14, 2017 at 02:19

    Like so many things it takes practice. What a gorgeous reminder of the benefits of self care.

  • Reply Margaretha Montagu February 14, 2017 at 03:08

    I love that quote that sys you can only love others if you first now how to love and value yourself. Thank you for the timely reminder, Sue. Wonderfully inspiring post.

  • Reply Beth (GrannyBeth3) February 14, 2017 at 03:51

    As we age our body image erodes. What comes first not liking what we see or invisibility? you message is important.

  • Reply Molly Stevens February 14, 2017 at 06:40

    Wise words indeed, Sue, as we approach the ‘love’ holiday.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 16, 2017 at 06:23

      Thanks Molly. I think we get so caught up loving and pleasing others that we forget ourselves. Hope you enjoyed your ‘love’ holiday – or were you shovelling snow LOL:)

  • Reply adela February 14, 2017 at 06:58

    Beautifully said. Thank you.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 16, 2017 at 06:23

      Thank you so much Adela and have a lovely day x

  • Reply Silly Mummy February 14, 2017 at 10:22

    I find it hard to do, but I know this is such good advice. If you value yourself, then anyone else knows that you won’t give them the time of day unless they also value you as much. If you don’t value yourself, you will probably accept someone else not valuing you too, because you won’t see why they should.

  • Reply Mandi February 14, 2017 at 10:27

    Absolutely wonderful post! As a woman, we often learn to love others and mother ourselves and that takes time to unlearn.

  • Reply Roxanne Jones February 14, 2017 at 11:52

    A wonderful post, Sue. It reminds me of the line from a poem (I don’t know the author) that goes something like “plant your own garden, decorate your own soul.” As so many others have commented, you really do have to value yourself first and foremost. It teaches others how to treat you.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:23

      Thanks Roxanne! What a beautiful quote I love it and thanks for sharing with me. I will need to find the poem. Have a beautiful day and thanks for stopping by. x

  • Reply Jacq February 14, 2017 at 16:54

    This is so true. Thank you for reminding me of what I should be doing every single day. xx


    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 15, 2017 at 14:20

      We all need reminding don’t we Jacq. Have a lovely day!

  • Reply Carol ("Mimi") February 16, 2017 at 01:01

    Thanks for your words of wisdom. I think that as girls and young women, we get messages from parents/friends/peers/society-in-general that we must constantly strive and try harder to be better in so many ways. These messages might actually be useful in some ways if they spur us to stretch and reach our goals in various endeavors. But, I know that, for me, as an older person retired from my career and with children grown into adulthood, I am much happier accepting and loving myself for who I am.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 16, 2017 at 06:25

      So true Carol. I think our generation really were brain washed from all sides especially in the media. We had to be perfect in the way we looked and powerful in what we achieved. So many of us wasted many years trying too hard and feeling unhappy. It took me a while to realise who I am and what I want but now at nearly 60 life is good. Have a beautiful day. xx

  • Reply Charlotte February 16, 2017 at 21:36

    it’s so important to learn to love yourself first, I genuinely believe it is the first step to being able to love others!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2017 at 08:37

      I agree Charlotte. If we know how to love ourselves we can share that love more freely.

  • Reply Gary Mathews February 16, 2017 at 22:32

    I learned this one first hand after I went through a grueling divorce.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2017 at 08:36

      Yes it is all you have during hard times isn’t it Gary.

  • Reply Jodie filogomo February 17, 2017 at 05:24

    This is hard for some people to understand, but I remember it hitting home when I read the quote “you can’t pour from an empty cup”
    Thanks for sharing this Sue!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 17, 2017 at 08:36

      What a beautiful quote Jodie. Have a lovely day xx

  • Reply Grammy Dee February 17, 2017 at 22:41

    So true, I always say – Take care of yourself first because you’re the only you that you have 🙂 Thank you Sue for sharing this post at the Wednesday AIM Link Party. I shared it on my social media sites.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 19, 2017 at 11:58

      It is a bit like being on the plane and being told to use our oxygen masks first then the children. We aren’t any good to others if we don’t look after ourselves. Have a lovely day Grammy Dee! xx

  • Reply Kathleen - Bloggers Lifestyle February 18, 2017 at 21:01

    Lovely message and great quotes Sue. I particularly like the last one. I think most of my life I confused self-respect with a wrong interpretation of being humble. Being humble is a beautiful thing combined with love and respect. It does not mean being hard on yourself or downgrading yourself.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 19, 2017 at 11:53

      Yes Kathleen I was the same. I felt that it was vain to love yourself but now I understand that loving yourself is about being respectful and accepting of the person you are. Glad you enjoyed the post, my friend. Have a beautiful day xx

  • Reply Menaka Bharathi - Bloggers Pit Stop Crew February 21, 2017 at 12:38

    Self love is a wonderful asset. It is in fact very important to love thyself -whether others follow or not is something of their choice.Thanks for joining The Bloggers Pit Stop

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 23, 2017 at 07:36

      So true Menaka it really is a personal thing but one that makes us stronger.

  • Reply Sinziana Romanescu February 22, 2017 at 05:41

    I am 100% agree with this message Sue! Also, I love your quotes. Is important to love and take care of yourself because in this way you can be happy and productive and ready for your family.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 23, 2017 at 07:39

      Thanks Sinziana!

  • Reply shelley February 22, 2017 at 12:42

    This is so on target. It’s almost as if women are programmed from birth to love everyone else EXCEPT ourselves. I think it goes back to that attitude that good girls put everyone else first – and we do. But there comes a point where we realize that we’ve got to take care of ourselves too. Love this – pinning to my personal Pinterest board in addition to the Over the Moon board.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 23, 2017 at 07:41

      Yes, that is why I wrote it Shelley because I’m constantly surprised at the number of women who feel it wrong to love and be kind to themselves. All we can do is try to spread the message. Have a great week and thanks for being a co-host at #OvertheMoon x

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  • Reply Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski February 12, 2018 at 16:13

    It’s hard to love others when you don’t love and respect yourself. Great advice for Valentine’s Day.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 12, 2018 at 20:29

      It took a long time for me Rebecca but I’ve finally found myself xx

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