Limiting beliefs – what are they? We all have them and usually the biggest is our lack of self-belief. Recently I asked the following question in the Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond Facebook Group:
Reflecting on 2019 what held you back from making changes or achieving your goals?
The responses were varied but these two that I’ve selected shared a common theme. Can you relate to them? I know I can.
Myself! My self esteem, my lack of confidence, and my anxiety, combined with being a natural introvert, means that for many years things have passed me by. However, I am improving and have big plans in place for 2020. I feel quietly optimistic that this is going to be one of my best for a long time.
Jane
I can honestly say me.
Anne
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
Sometimes we are held back because we just don’t have faith in ourselves. We’ve tried and failed and instead of learning from that experience we write it off by saying ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I don’t deserve it’.
Limiting beliefs hold us back and stops us living to our full potential. Limiting beliefs:
- can stop us from trying new things,
- they cloud of view and way of thinking so that we don’t see opportunities
- they keep us stuck and we often don’t even realise how damaging they are
- they increase our fear of change
- can be imposed upon us by others
I’ve written before about the Mean Girl who lives in our head and whispers negative thoughts. Not only do we put limiting beliefs on ourselves but we allow others to influence our own self-belief.
If we want to keep moving forward we need to silence that Mean Girl who has been influencing us for too long.
Overcome your limiting beliefs
You have the power. You just have to find a way to use it. Time to let go!
You have the power in the present moment to change limiting beliefs and consciously plant the seeds for the future of your choosing. As you change your mind, you change your experience.
Serge King
COMPLETING THE LIMITING BELIEFS TABLE
Identifying our limiting beliefs and replacing them with a more positive one helps us to achieve our goals. In the attached Beliefs Table document. Consider some of the beliefs that are holding you back and how you can replace it with a more positive thought pattern.
REFLECTING ON YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS
There have surely been times in life where you have achieved something. Think back to what that was, how it felt during the process and the feeling of accomplishment when you achieved it. This is the basis to rebuild your self-confidence. You can do it! You might need help or support but you can do it.
In your notebook/journal write down 3 major achievements in your life. How each achievement made you feel and the positive flow on effect from achieving them. Share your achievements in the Facebook group.
53 Comments
Sue, I am all about releasing self-limiting beliefs this year! As I’ve explored this area, I found references that it’s easier to start (new) beliefs than to let go of old ones. Essentially, crowd out the negative with positive. So my approach will be for every self-limiting belief, I will create a corresponding self-empowering belief…. and turn those into affirmations. That’s my approach anyway…. and I will see how ti works in the months to come!
Love the way you are handling your self-limiting beliefs Pat. It takes time to change our thoughts but if you have the tools and resources to use it makes it easier. Look forward to reading about your progress. x
Another great post Sue. I do love this exercise. I have a photo of me taken while walking the Camino. When I look at that photo I just know that I can do anything. Self belief is at the heart of everything
Thanks Jen and isn’t it wonderful when we achieve something we thought we couldn’t do? I felt like that when I finished both of my marathon runs in my 50s. Have a wonderful weekend and Happy New Year! xx
Excellent advice. I think about the excuses that I put in place and the layers between me and where I want to be – and it all comes down to self belief.
Self-belief is a struggle for me, Jo – some days I’m full of confidence in myself and my abilities and other days I question. I think that is the case with many so I’m not alone in the way I feel. xx
That Mean Girl sure can be convincing if we let her. Like you and Jo mentioned in the comments above, my confidence will take dips that I have to fight to take back and quiet that voice in my head. I don’t know if I’ll ever “arrive”, but it helps to know that I am more powerful than “she” is and I can win that battle every time if I believe that I can. xo
Hi Candi, my Mean Girl works overtime sometimes and it is a battle to keep her quiet. Like you I have highs and lows regarding confidence. All we can do is try and remember that we can achieve things, we are strong enough. Have a great week xx
Hi, Sue – You have shared many pearls of wisdom in this post. Even our attributes that we view as our strength (for example, diligence) can limit us from realizing many of our goals (example, I can’t relax because that interfers with my belief of who I am). Lots of great food for thought here.
Hi Donna, thank you my friend and I agree that our strength can be a limiting factor – good point!
‘ A future of my choosing’, such empowering words!
Thanks for sharing these words, Sue!
SSG xxx
My pleasure SSG – have a great week xx
Hi Sue – Very good advice and useful tool to overcome limiting beliefs. Thanks for sharing this post. #lifethisweek
Thanks Natalie!
I can certainly relate to these beliefs and stumbling blocks. The whole enoughness / worth thing is a big one for me.
I’ve downloaded the table and will fill it out. Hopefully thinking of something to replace the problematic belief with will be a step forward!
Hi Deb, I hope you find the table useful. From the comments I’ve received, it appears that Limiting Beliefs is something many of us have and find difficult to overcome. I suppose it just takes time, plugging away and reinforcing the positive until it becomes our natural thought. Have a great wee! x
Hi Sue – I’m definitely a victim of that little negative voice inside my head that tells me I’m less than I’m capable of being. Fortunately I’ve woken up to the fact that I’m more valuable than I’ve been brought up to believe, but it’s a constant battle to believe that I can achieve what I set my mind to. Limiting beliefs will always be a part of my life – but I also like Pat’s idea of adding in so many new positive ones that it drowns out the Debbie Downer variety!
Back again for #MLSTL and another great group of posts to read and share. Thanks again for co-hosting with me and for all the encouragement you send my way xx and I’ve shared this on my SM ?
Hi Leanne, I agree with Pat about drowning out Debbie Downer. It takes effort to change the way we think but if we can just keep working on reinforcing the positives we will start to think that way. x
I love the notion of ‘the mean girl who lives inside’. So very true. I try to teach my girls that you have to treat yourself mentally the same way you do your friends. And your words really help solidify that. Nicely put.
Hi CJ thanks for dropping by to leave me a comment. I love how you are teaching your daughters because that’s when the limiting beliefs begin – way back in childhood. We need to be friends with ourselves don’t we and as you say treat yourself mentally the way you do your friends. Love this concept! Have a great week. x
Thanks for the wonderful encouragement. I need to get that Mean Girl out of my head! I will ork on the table.
Hi Laurie, you aren’t alone as I believe we all suffer from the Mean Girl and sometimes she is just a bully isn’t she? Good luck with the table and let me know if you find it valuable. Have a lovely week. xx
Limiting Beliefs is a significant topic, Sue, applying to all parts of our life. You have likely heard the saying ‘if you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you are right.’ A great, thought-provoking post!
Hi Erica, I love your quote and will use it if I may. It is so true isn’t it? It all comes down to how we think and although sometimes that Mean Girl is holding court, we can silence her. Have a beautiful week, my friend. xx
Such great advice, thank you for sharing.
Hi Melissa, thank you for stopping by and I’m happy to hear that you found some useful takeaways to help with Limiting beliefs. Have a great week! x
So sad that we can be our own worst enemy or own biggest stumbling block. Certainly the case, here!!
You aren’t alone, Leslie. I’m the same and many others allow themselves to be their own stumbling block. Just remember how unique and special you are and that your smile lights up a room. Have a lovely day and thanks for stopping by xx
I am pleased to see such positive examples Sue. Great work.
I started saying “yes” when my automatic response is NO. And that has been a powerful game changer for me.
Thanks so much for joining in the 2nd Life This Week in 2020 and next week the optional prompt is 3/51 Remember This 20.1.2020. I do hope to see you link up too. Denyse.
Thanks Denyse. Being able to Say ‘Yes’ and overcome an automatic response is a great game changer. Thanks for sharing your tip and also for hosting Life This Week. See you Monday! x
So difficult to get rid of limiting beliefs…some are so deeply entrenched that they are all but invisible. The Belief Table seems a practical way to approach getting rid of limiting beliefs for good. Great article, Sue.
Hi Margaretha, lovely to hear from you. Yes, limiting beliefs are definitely a challenge to overcome and I hope the table can provide a starting point for readers to actually examine what their limiting beliefs are. Have a beautiful day and thanks for stopping by xx
Such a great inspirational post for the new year. TFS!
Thanks Amy and I’m pleased you found some inspiration for the New Year. Let’s do this! xx
It is just in the last year or two that I have really become aware of my limiting beliefs. Now that I have, I have started to work on them. I try to remind my self of my accomplishments, and read books or listen to podcasts that will help me overcome some of my limiting beliefs. I find that I often need to hear the positive message many times before it starts to stick!
Hi Michele, I’m like you in that I need to hear positive reinforcement many times before I actually start to believe it. I still have limiting beliefs and probably always will but I’ve learned how to overcome them, even if it is challenging to do. Have a lovely week and thanks for stopping by. xx
I’ve often said I’d go far if I would get out of my own way! By taking baby steps I do believe I’m getting better!! Thank you for the reminder, Sue!!
Love your saying, Agnes and it is so true! I might use that if I may? I think that baby steps is the answer and I’m covering that in my next post! Have a great week. x
Another great post Sue and full of words of wisdom. You are right we all have the mean girl inside us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences #mlstl
Thanks for sharing Deb and joining us at #MLSTL despite current circumstances. xx
Oh my goodness Jane’s comment could be me! I have missed many opportunities and possibilities but then again I did grab quite a few too. I do have a lot of self limiting beliefs though Sue and so much more work to do on myself. I even mention it in my post today – as something I need to work on. At least I know I’m not alone with this problem. Thanks so much Sue and I hope that 2020 is a fulfilling year for you! xo #TeamLovinLife
I think we all have too many limiting beliefs Min and I also believe that we can’t change everything all at once. Starting to recognise those beliefs that are holding us back and reflecting on how we can work to change them is a great start. I’m hoping to not put so much pressure on myself in 2020 and do more of what I want to do rather than what I feel I should be doing. xx
Referring to the negative voice inside as “the mean girl” definitely puts that voice in its place. Yay for you, for providing THE LIMITING BELIEFS TABLE. It can help us see, and let go of limiting beliefs, and make progress replacing them with more effective self-talk. Shared on SM. Thanks for hosting #MLSTL. What a fabulous party!
Hi Nancy, I’m sharing tools that I have found have helped me. Limiting beliefs can be difficult to change and the first step is to actually recognise what they are. I think the table is a good starting point. Thanks for sharing and being part of #MLSTL. Have a great week. x
This is a post that is clearly resonating for many. I must say I was raised to believe I could do anything I want and I’ve maintained that way of thinking. That doesn’t mean I’m confident with everything: I’m also very self aware and know very well my weaknesses and the skills I lack. I do subscribe to the theory that there’s nothing wrong with trying something and failing. Just educates your next attempt.
Hi Christine, I think much of who we become can be influenced by how we are raised. You seem so well-adjusted and although you might not feel confident all the time, you certainly come across as being confident and going for what you want. I agree that failure can be a wonderful learning experience and a time for growth. x
Hi Sue,
This post is so telling…sometimes we are our “own worst enemies” – I know that is true for me. Self-talk is so limiting if we let it be. I know for me it can create a lot of anxiety and I am consciously working to change the feedback loop continually running in my head. Part of it is perfectionism – my self hates to fail so I really have to force myself out of my comfort zone sometimes. #MLSTL
We are so similar Nancy and like you I hate to fail that is why I was so disappointed in myself towards the end of last year. I had taken on too much and was not doing a good job of anything. I constantly battle my limiting beliefs but writing ways to overcome it helps me as well as my readers. have a lovely week and enjoyed your post about your Mum’s sewing box. xx
I love the idea of building confidence by looking at what we have achieved in the past and analyzing what skills and character traits allowed us that success. Top three off the top of my head: ran a marathon, earned a master’s degree, started a blog. Thanks, as always, for hosting #MLSTL!
Hi Christie, I think too often we forget what we have actually achieved and I love your top 3 – 2 of which I’ve accomplished as well. It does build confidence and I know running a marathon certainly taught me that I was capable of much more than I gave myself credit for. Thanks for being part of #MLSTL and see you next week. xx
This fits in so well with my plans for this year to focus on myself and my growth, Sue. Thanks for the nudge to journal on this on my self-limiting beliefs.
My pleasure Corinne and I look forward to reading about your new focus in 2020. x