I’ve started 2021 with the theme of Review & Reset 2020 both here on the blog and in the Women Living Well After 50 Facebook Group. The idea for this theme, came about when I started a short course called Simple Steps to an Incredible Year with Mel Robbins. I wrote about the course and the intention of Review and Reset in my previous blog post Let’s Review and Reset in 2021.
Sometimes we take a short course and think ‘well, I already know this’. However, it is surprising how beneficial it is to be reminded and to put into practice what you know. The stand-out point so far in the course is that we can’t look or move forward until we have reviewed where we have been and where we are right now.
During the week, I posted the following question in the Facebook Group and I wanted to share some of the answers that members wrote. I selected four which I think resonate with all of us and I would love to hear your answers as well either in the FB group or in the comments below. The answers tied in perfectly with my WOTY, SELF and also the idea of growth from lessons learned, is perfectly aligned with my friend Leanne from Cresting the Hill’s WOTY which is CULTIVATE.
What lesson(s) did you learn in 2020 that you will take into 2021 with you?
To not allow myself to feel overwhelmed. Instead to value the peaceful and quiet moments more than the busy ones.- Judith
Judith’s answer was one I could relate to and I know that you would have read my posts towards the end of last year when life certainly was overwhelming for both my husband and I. After my MIL passed away at the end of October I felt I really need to step back from life and ‘practice what I preach’. Taking time out to just ‘be’ in the present moment or walking in nature really helps to bring clarity.
I need to be more assertive in my communication so problems don’t build up to a boiling point. Avoiding an issue doesn’t make it go away. -Sonja
Being assertive doesn’t come easily to me either. Not many of us enjoy confrontation and we can let the tension of avoiding problems build up until we feel we want to explode, or as Sonja says ‘to a boiling point’. This is neither good for our physical or or mental well-being but sometimes it is ‘easier said than done.’ Assertive doesn’t mean we have to be confrontational or argumentative. It simply means giving our thoughts and ideas the respect they deserve. It means asking ourselves how the problem or situation affects us and our well-being. This is important for me as my WOTY is ‘SELF’.
That’s putting myself first sometimes is not a luxury but a necessity. Still learning to let go of self inflicted guilt. – Christine
Again, Christine’s answer ties in with my WOTY, Self. As I wrote in my post WOTY 2021 – Have you chosen one? I need to embrace my SELF and live my life with the focus of keeping what SERVES me WELL and LETTING GO of what is holding me back and making me feel trapped in life. So often, we feel guilty doing something for ourselves and again that isn’t an easy lesson to learn.
Many people are hypocrites, and have double standards…. I learned it was time to unfriend many – Deb
Deb’s answer reminded me that part of SELF and living well is the ability to let go even when it might be painful. Some friendships can have a used by date and if that friendship is becoming toxic and pulling you down rather than supporting you, it’s time to dig deep and let it go.
My friend, Deb from Deb’s World has selected BOLD as her WOTY. I think this also ties in well with the answers given above because to make changes we need to be Bold and that also means having the courage to make the changes to improve our life.
What lesson did I learn from 2020?
I learned that I am stronger than I realise and that being strong doesn’t mean caring less. It is about showing up when the challenges of life come your way and being there when others need you.
I took the lead when my MIL was ill and dying because I needed to support my husband and his family during this difficult time. My MIL and I had a great relationship which lasted 25 years and although I had to comfort and support others and be strong for them, it didn’t mean that I wasn’t also hurting.
I’m taking this lesson of strength into 2021 and applying with my WOTY to be strong in all areas of my life. To do things and make decisions that might be tough at times but will result in me living well.
What was your lesson from 2020 which you will take into 2021? I would love you to share with me.