Do you hold back doing things in your life because you worry about what others might say?
Do you feel embarrassed to shine your light or follow your dream in case others don’t agree?
Do you hold back because you feel you might fail?
If you answered Yes, then you might have the condition known as FOPO. No it isn’t life threatening but it is something that will stop you living your life on your own terms.
What is FOPO? Fear of Other People’s Opinion
I experience FOPO and I’m sure if you are honest you do too. At the moment, I’m working on new projects and at times let FOPO take over. Sometimes it is difficult to let go of this feeling BUT when we have the courage to follow what is important to us, our gut instinct, our purpose, life does become simpler. We can spend our energy on enjoying our life rather than explaining our ‘why’ to others who may or may not understand. If I had let FOPO stand in my way, I would never have started this blog, I would never have pressed the GO LIVE button on my podcast.
It’s your life and you deserve to live it your way..#liveyourlifenow
How to live your life on your terms
You actually know what to do, it isn’t rocket science. Sometimes though we need a gentle reminder to pull us back on track to living well – living a fulfilled life. We are human and with that comes all of the emotions, including self-doubt, self-belief and a low self-confidence. So I’m just going to list what I do to stay on track, work towards my goals and dreams and be a Woman Living Well After 50.
- Define your own purpose – what brings you joy? what do you like to do? what energises you?
- Define and Live your Core Values – what is important to you in the way you live your life? what is your moral compass?
- Know your ‘Why and write it down and live it.
- Find your Cheerleaders to support and encourage you in living a life that is right for you, with no judgement.
- Cut the Cord to those who are sending negative energy your way.
- Let Go of who or what isn’t serving you well in life. This might even be YOU! Our limiting beliefs which may have formed in our earlier life can certainly hold us back from living the life we want or achieving our goals. You might also like to listen to or watch my Podcast interview with Candi Randolph from Inspire My Style as we discuss Overcoming Limiting beliefs and rebuilding your self-confidence after 50
- Take time to focus on yourself, your needs and your desires. Making time to focus on YOU and giving yourself the nurturing self-care and attention you need will not only help us to focus on what we want from life but it nourishes our mind, body and soul.
- Be Brave – Believe in YOU and recognise the qualities that give you inner strength.
There is great power in living as our whole true self and not feeling pulled in directions by other people.
25 Comments
Absolutely yes, a thousand times yes. I spend way too much time worrying about what other people will think & I know it holds me back. It’s the main reason I don’t market as I know I should. Great & very timely post, Sue.
It is a difficult one, Jo and even though I know what to do, it isn’t always easy. Maybe you should put together a marketing campaign and go for it! xx
Such a fantastic post, Sue. I’ve spent all my life thinking about other people’s opinions instead of my own, and now realise I was on the wrong path. Thank you for this. Toni x
Thank you,Toni. I hope you are keeping well and I agree that many of us have been on the wrong path. It is never too late to change though.xx
Hi, Sue – Even when we say (or think) that OPO’s don’t matter to us, they often do affect us more than we realize.
One of my groups of friends are quietly judgemental of a few things that I embrace (e.g. meatless eating, growing out natural hair colour. multi-day, roughing it hikes, etc. etc.). While I don’t deny any of these passions, I don’t bring them up with this group either. Our silence can speak volumes.
Hi Donna, I still find it difficult to overcome FOPO but I try. I love the way you handle your group. I have a friend who really just sees ‘black or white’ and takes everything literally. I find I have to watch what I say at times which can be a pain! x
Oh gosh Sue – I couldn’t love this post any more than I do right now! You’re so right about cutting the cord with negative Nellies and keeping our cheersquad close. Everyone’s journey is different and what thrills one person may not inspire someone else, but that doesn’t mean we need to put our dreams on hold because others don’t understand them. I’ve been so impressed with how you’ve launched into your youtube and podcast series and the excitement I hear in your voice when you talk about them – because that’s the bottom line isn’t it? Excitement, engagement, joy, and growing in ourselves is what we should be looking for – not the approval of others.
I am still a WIP in the approval of others stakes, but I’m getting better. I can’t believe how much I love my life these days – and I’m going to write a blog post about it one day – on the difference between living a life that makes you happy vs living one that you think others expect from you. There is no comparison at all – and I’m SO glad you’re having a ball doing what makes you come alive. xxx
Thanks Leanne for your heartfelt comment and I know that we think alike so you will definitely ‘get’ my post. I’m really pleased I overcame my FOPO regarding the podcast and also moving into hosting workshops and retreats. A new world is opening up to me and if I had worried what others would say I would never have discovered new ways to fulfil my life. xx
Sue, An excellent list of what you do to live the life you want. Life is short so go and make it great. True friends will be the ones who cheer you on and support you. #lifethisweek
Hi Natalie I’m fortunate to have good friends in my life both virtually and IRL. Although at times I think we all have FOPO moments, I know for myself, if I overcome the feeling my self-confidence just soars. Have a lovely weekend. x
I suffered badly from this in my younger days. I’ve almost can’t nquered it but not quite. It still creeps up on me every time I go to press publish. FOPO definitely stops me from getting too personal on the blog. Great post #lifethisweek
I hear you Jennifer and I know that FOPO stopped me from starting the podcast sooner. However, I’m loving it now and it has really helped my self-confidence no end. xx
Hi Sue, this is spot on! I used to worry so much about other peoples’ opinions (even married the wrong guy because of it) but as I’ve gotten older I’m true to myself. If I had worried what other people think I would never have started my blog either. Good on you for following your dreams, you’re an inspiration, regards Christina
Thanks Christina, I think that once we start overcoming FOPO our confidence increases and we do try to follow our dreams and make them happen. x
Sue
I needed these words today, thank you! Growing older isn’t easy but the challenges continue to make me stronger and more confident in who I am and what I stand for. I intend to continue living better and stronger on my own terms with each passing year!
SSG xxx
SSG xx
Hi SSG it has taken me until my 60s to feel more confident with who I am so you have a head start! Enjoy your weekend. xx
Hi Sue, I love this post and you are spot on with your questions to ask ourselves. I especially like the ‘be brave and believe in yourself’ one and you have certainly taken this to a new level. I do have FOPO at time but think I’m getting better! Feeling excited and enthusiastic about something is better than anyone else’s opinion of what we’re doing in my opinion. Thanks for this timely and important post #lifethisweek
I’m getting better at FOPO Deb, and I think the podcast has really helped my self-confidence to follow my dreams. xx
So true, Sue. It’s great to watch people who really don’t care, who are inspired by something and just go for it. I love your advice about finding your own way, being brave and surrounding yourself with others who believe in you. Life’s too short for FOPO.
Life is too short, Sue-Anne and like you, I am inspired by those who can rise above their fear and achieve their dreams and goals. x
Great post which I see resonated with many. I have progressed a long way down the path of self-acceptance and self-approval these days. I know how hard I have worked to learn new skills and put them into action. At times my old way of thinking will get in first, but now I countermand that very swiftly.
Thanks for linking up this week, next week, the optional prompt is 39/51 Healthy. 28.9.2020 Hope to see you there too. Denyse.
Hi Denyse, I think that your cancer journey has made you stronger and more accepting of who you are and the unique and brave woman that we all know and love. x
I haven’t seen the acronym FOPO before, but I have felt it. In my younger years, I let it paralyze me. I don’t do that anymore, but I still catch myself sometimes. Then I just remind myself that what other people think of me is none of my business! I find that when I am living out something that I am sure of- which is usually the big things in life, I am fine and not concerned with anyone else’s thoughts. It gets to me in the little things- like something I am considering wearing! It is stupid- I will be fine in all the important things and then worry about what someone will think of my shoes!!!!
So much in this post to think about and apply Sue. I sometimes hesitate to do things I want to do, because I am afraid of what others may think. Grateful I am making progress on focusing on my plan not another person’s plan for me. Will pin this post to my self-care board and re-share on SM.
Hi Nancy, you are certainly not alone in feeling hesitant. I had 5 episodes of my podcast ready but felt scared to push the publish button for fear of what other people would think. I’m so glad I overcame this feeling as I’m loving what I’m doing. Thanks so much for sharing xx