Why do most women feel that we are never good enough? If we can’t like and love ourselves how can we reach our full potential and be the best we can be?
Learning to love yourself will make you a better person for not only you but your family and friends. As the words of the famous Whitney Houston song goes ‘learning to love yourself, is the greatest gift of all’.
I have met some beautiful and capable women who just can’t see themselves as others do.
For example, I sent a message of support to a fellow blogger who is a friend of mine. I wanted her to know that I am thoroughly enjoying her blog and felt that she had really stepped up a level in her writing skills, images and topics she chose to write about.
I look forward to her posts as they are in my niche and it is nice to read about other midlife women and how they are handling this new phase in their lives.
Her reaction was to be grateful but also to say that she ‘didn’t think she would be as good as I was’. Now that floored me because I felt the same about her!
See, we are both midlife women who obviously don’t realize and appreciate our potential and how others view us.
I know I have always been self-critical – my worst critic! I’ve struggled with body issues and not feeling beautiful enough, lack of self-confidence and always trying to please others at my own expense sometimes.
I have this innate feeling that I have to give 150% all the time to prove myself, hiding my fears behind a cheery smile or positive attitude and this can get pretty tiring. You start to miss out on life because you are trying too hard.
However, I have also noticed over the last year or so that I am changing – slowly – but still changing. In fact, my husband mentioned to our P.T. a few weeks ago that I had changed and I was more confident in standing up for myself when I needed to.
I think it is because I’m actually starting to ACCEPT & LIKE the person I am. I’m starting to believe and accept the complimentary comments I receive with grace instead of thinking that people are ‘just saying that to be kind’.
I am taking the time to learn about who I am and what I want out of life and writing this blog has certainly helped. When I write, it is from the heart or experience and so I’m actually taking my own advice and making the changes I need to be happy.
Life is too short to always be feeling self-doubt.
“We need to embrace who we are and accept who we are.”
If you don’t like who you are – then do something about it! Really at the end of the day it is up to us as individuals to make changes in our lives to reach our potential. We owe it to ourselves and our families.
I read a post by Murielle Marie a mentor, coach and writer called ‘What does it mean to really love yourself?’ and it started me thinking about what we need to do to be happy with ourselves and have self-love.
Here are 6 ways to can start learning to love yourself
1. Find a mantra
Think of a positive affirmation that you can repeat to yourself everyday. Building a base of confidence means we have to keep repeating to ourselves what others like about us. If we keep thinking about these positive messages we will slowly start to believe them.
What is one positive thing someone has told you recently? Use that to start building your confidence base.
2. Have ‘Me’ time
For many of us we have led hectic lives. We just aren’t defined by one thing but sometimes several – wife/partner, mother, work colleague, student.
We are now at a stage in our lives when we can take a step back and increase our ‘Me time’. Sometimes we need to be selfish and put ourselves first. That doesn’t mean we don’t love our partner or children it means that we are starting to love ourselves and realise our true worth.
Read my post Why We Need To be Selfish – Sometimes which explains why putting ourselves first sometimes is not a bad thing and makes us better people.
3. Write down 10 positive things about yourself
Think about yourself as a different person and objectively write 10 positive things about yourself. What do you like about you? What do others say that is positive about you? If you step away from the ‘self-critic’ for a moment and really look at who you are you will see the positives. It could be a gentle soul, you may have beautiful eyes.Don't be afraid to appreciate your physical attributes they are part of what makes YOU who you are.Click To Tweet
Beauty isn’t just physical it is born from the self-confidence within. How many times have you seen someone walk into a room and just have a presence. They may not be particularly beautiful in the physical sense, but their self-confidence shines through.
4. List what you love about your life
I recently took a writing challenge to list ‘Reflect on 99 Things I Love’ when I started I wasn’t sure I could list that many but by the time I had finished I realised I could have kept going.
The lesson I learned from this challenge was that there is so much to be grateful for in my life and so much to be appreciate that having self-doubt is a waste of energy.
5. Accept the things you cannot change
Okay so you aren’t a supermodel and never will be. You aren’t going to be the first female president of the USA – so what.
There will always be parts of ourselves that we don’t like and we have two options. We can do something about it to CHANGE what we don’t like or we have to ACCEPT it and make peace with our inner voice.
6. Go and do it!
Is there something you have always wanted to do but were afraid to try? Go and do it! Sure, you have the fear that you might fail but the feeling of ‘what if’ is so much worse.
Ask yourself two questions:
‘What is the worst that can happen?’ or
‘What will you achieve if you do try?’
It is time to start believing in ourselves and start living a positive and happy life loving who we are without the shackles of self-criticism and self-doubt.
You can do it and how much better will you feel when you do?
“Be the type of person you want to meet” quote
This post was written for #FridayReflections – the prompt was write about your first love.