End of life. It isn’t a topic many of us feel comfortable discussing however we can’t avoid it- it happens to all of us. Most of us have probably put into place Power of Attorney documentation but have you put a plan in place that details of what you want to happen after your death ?
Recently, my friend Leanne from Cresting the Hill asked some bloggers to write a short eulogy of how we wanted to be remembered. I found writing about myself difficult but eventually came up with something I was happy with and keeping within the 4 sentence challenge. It reminded me that having an End of Life Plan in place including what happens to us after we die, is important, especially if we have defined ideas of how we want to handle the inevitable.
Creative Memorial Planning
Th e challenge from Leanne, linked very well to my next interview in the Conversations with Women Living Well After 50 series on Youtube. I was delighted to have a chat with Jenny Leigh Hodgins from Creative Memorial Planning to discuss the various options available to us if we are looking for an alternative to the traditional funeral. After chatting with Jenny, I had the conversation with Mike, my husband and we are both in the process of documenting our wishes. We have had previous discussions about what we wanted, however, we hadn’t documented them.
I’ve summarised the main points discussed in the interview below and also included the link to the full YouTube interview. I found the conversation very interesting and I’m sure you will too.
- What the difference is between a funeral and a memorial
- Earth friendly alternatives to the traditional funeral or memorial
- How compassion fits into pre-planning our memorial or funeral
- The importance of writing your life story
- Making a video or document of your wishes to make things easier for your loved ones
- How a celebrant or death doula can help facilitate your wishes
- Jenny also shares what being a Woman Living Well means to her.
Listen to the Podcast
Watch on YouTube
Meet Jenny
Jenny helps 50+ adults, caregivers, veterans, & families explore earth-friendly, cost-reducing alternatives to traditional funeral plans with less or zero religious or funeral business involvement. Her focus is on ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans, and help people map out their memorial plans from their personalised ideas.
Jenny also offers empowering strategies for nurturing creativity and living an inspired life.at Your Creative Chord
Connect with Jenny
Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group and receive access to her FREE Video series with Reflections For You downloadable ebook as a supportive guide. Jenny also offers empowering
Your Creative Chord website and be sure to check out Jenny’s Podcast
16 Comments
Hi, Sue – Thank you for this thought-provoking post and interview, and for introducing us to Jenny. LIke so many others, this is a topic that I have strongly avoided. Thank you for the gentle nudge. I definitely have some thinking to do!
I had no idea that earth-friendly options were available. While it mightn’t be something that you want to think about, it absolutely brings so much more peace to those you leave behind to know exactly what it is that you want.
Hi Jo, I had heard of them but wasn’t sure what it involved. I found the conversation fascinating and it has prompted Mike and I to get serious about putting our thoughts on paper. I don’t want my loved ones overwhelmed and trying to cope with emotions as well as arrangements. xx
Sue, thanks for this video, good to stimulate out thinking on this inevitable subject. Our Elise, has chosen this to be FEATURED in the next Blogger’s Pit Stop.
Thank you Kathleen and Elise. I think this is an important topic that needs to be discussed so thanks for featuring the post and message 🙂
Thank you, Sue, for this thought-provoking post and introducing Jenny to us. As you said, end of life isn’t a topic many of us feel comfortable discussing. It makes sense though to let our loved ones know what we want. #MLSTL
My mum has done this. And My Dad had already invited the speakers for his eulogy before he died…I do think it makes things easier on the grieving..#MLSTL
This is an interesting topic Sue. I must say I haven’t given it any thought at all. You have me thinking
Hi Sue, Having to organise someone’s funeral is incredibly stressful and upsetting and I’ve had to do it 3 times. It can be much easier for the person left behind if your wishes are documented. I have documented clear plans to my husband and children, hoping that I can spare them the agony of having to do it for me. Having a will is just as important and it’s shocking how many people don’t even have that. Thanks for this timely reminder
Such an interesting topic Sue – I know that I don’t have as many issues as a lot of people with the whole death and dying thing (maybe because I haven’t dealt with death much, or maybe because as a Christian I see it as a transition rather than the end?) I still haven’t really put much in place though but we have started talking about Power of Attorney stuff and updating our wills, so an end of life set of notes definitely fits in with that. Definitely worth considering sooner rather than later. Great interview #MLSTL
It is a macabre subject but important to discuss. My mum (in her mid 70s) has her church service planned etc and has a plot at the crematorium next to dad.
I’m not entirely sure I know what I want yet but guess it won’t matter too much by then. Also, not having any children means that my legacy will be a lot different to those who might have kids and grandkids etc…
Very interesting read … indeed memorial and funerals can be amazing things … recent one of a friend was memorable enough, but when family members took turns signing in the actual graveyard it was stunning #MLSTL
I guess I feel it should be less of what the deceased person wants and more of what the surviving family members want. Funerals aren’t for the dead, they are for the living. They help people grieve and process the loss and remember the deceased. I’ve heard so many times “Don’t have a funeral for me” and then grief is never worked through for the survivors because there was no process of a funeral. Or I’ve heard “I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life” and no one at the funeral feels like celebrating and just wants to cry. I think the best thing is to plan the details of the death (plot, casket, cremation, etc) but the let the family choose how they want to say goodbye.
It’s important to plan. Before my father died, he and my mother discussed what to do. As they both hated wakes, they went with just a memorial service. Since it was 1999 and this was a new concept in our area, there were a lot of mistakes on how it was handled…some quite funny. Go forward twenty years and my mother had her entire memorial service planned out including the food that would be served afterward. It went very smoothly this time. Funny thing, when I pulled out her plans that she made with our priest, we found that she died on the same date exactly 12 years after she made those plans.
Both my parents and Paul’s took care of their own arrangements for funeral/burial/cremation. My parents have a very detailed trust and everything is outlined. I recently purchased a book called I’m Dead, Now What? in hopes that Paul and I can get our ducks in a row, too. But PC is really reticent about talking about our arrangements. So the book is on the shelf, waiting for a better time to discuss these difficult subjects. Thank you for a thoughtful post. Maybe this can help us begin that talk.
This was a very interesting interview Sue and something we really need to have in place. I agree with the comments of others that it’s one of ‘those’ hard to have talks but very necessary all the same. Thanks to you both for the information. Shared for #mlstl