Be You, Do You, For You – Being comfortable with who you are
April 14, 2024
How comfortable are you with who you are – as a person, with your body, with your place in the world? At 66 I feel pretty good about myself but it wasn’t always this way.
Part of Being an Active Participant in Life is to be comfortable with who you are and live an authentic life. If you aren’t comfortable you won’t enjoy life. Being comfortable with yourself allows you the freedom to live life your way without holding yourself back.
Accepting all that you are will lead you to live your best life and will allow you to be free and your true authentic self. – Camille Kostek
Oh this is one that I’ve struggled with over the years! Trying to be someone I’m not just to please others and in doing so have been miserable. In my mid 60s I am finally accepting who I am and being proud of who I am.
The main person we need to impress is ourselves. Be true to yourself and don’t place so much importance on what others think.
Being Comfortable with Who you Are
Becoming comfortable with who you are is a journey that requires self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. Here are some steps you can take to foster a greater sense of comfort with yourself:
Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your values, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses. Understanding yourself better can help you accept both your positive and negative qualities.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you make mistakes or face challenges. Acknowledge that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to have flaws and imperfections.
Set Realistic Expectations: Avoid comparing yourself to others, as this can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Instead, set achievable goals that align with your values and priorities.
Focus on Your Strengths: Celebrate your achievements and strengths, no matter how small they may seem. Recognizing your capabilities can boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Whenever you notice self-critical or negative thoughts, challenge them with more balanced and compassionate perspectives. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” remind yourself of times when you have succeeded or made progress.
Surround Yourself with Positive Influences: Spend time with supportive friends and family members who accept you for who you are. Their encouragement and validation can help reinforce your sense of self-worth.
Engage in Self-Care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by engaging in activities that nourish your body and soul. This can include exercise, hobbies, meditation, or simply spending time in nature.
Seek Growth and Development: Embrace opportunities for learning and personal growth. Whether it’s through education, new experiences, or challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone, continuous improvement can enhance your sense of fulfillment and self-confidence.
Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and cultivate awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. Mindfulness can help you develop a greater sense of acceptance and peace with yourself.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you’re struggling with self-acceptance or experiencing persistent negative feelings about yourself, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and strategies to help you develop a healthier relationship with yourself.
Remember, becoming comfortable with who you are is a lifelong journey, and it’s okay to have ups and downs along the way. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this process.
What are you waiting for?
Don’t wait for life to happen, create the life you want.
Time to check in for the week. How were you an Active Participant in Life?
I’ve included the prompts for Day 8 – Day 14 in case you missed them on the socials.
Remember, this challenge is not just about daily movement (which we all need to live well) but it is about participating in life in all areas.
For me, this week was about:
Daily movement – missed a couple of days as I wasn’t feeling up to par. No shame in that and I’m not beating myself up. Life happens. I did manage some walking and stretching
Spending time with my grandsons – playing soccer with them, cooking with them, writing books with them
Taking some rest time and reading The Frozen River which I adored
Enjoying some sunshine for my dose of Vitamin D and mood booster
Being creative in the kitchen making a birthday cake for my daughter
Spending time with family to celebrate my daughter’s birthday
Being there for a friend who is going through a rough patch – no judgement, no pushing her to chat, just letting her know I’m here for her when she is ready.
Have a beautiful week everyone and remember Monday is Planning Day!
You are really challenging me to think, Sue! There are times I know exactly who I am, and then there are days I really question it. I’m so glad to read I’m not the only one. I think, when you retire, you do lose a bit of who you used to be. So much of my life was taken up by teaching, that I think I lost me for a bit. And, when you blog, every post can’t be about how you’re feeling blah but you’re carrying on. I’ve written my fair share of those! I like all of your participation prompts and am trying hard to do them.
Hi Marsha, life is difficult and I agree you can’t always share the ‘not so great’ moments. Sometimes it is good to share on our blogs so that people can relate to our vulnerability but equally they don’t need to know every detail of our lives. x
Hi Sue. Very inspiring post. I think many women struggle to be “themselves” later in life. They have been so used to being what someone else wanted. This is a good reminder to be true to ourselves.
Thank you, Bren. We need to be true to ourselves although that isn’t always easy to do is it? It’s good to know we aren’t alone though in feeling this way. x
You’ve really hit the nail on the head Sue, this is a great post with so many relevant prompts and reminders. You are a lovely friend and inspiring in so many ways! I hope you’re feeling back to normal now after a few days under the weather.
Thanks so much Deb. I’m finding the challenge challenging actually. Remembering to come up with different prompts for each day. I’m always glad to get feedback though and hopefully know that I’m helping others. x
A very thought provoking post. I usually feel happy and comfortable with who I am and yet I lack confidence to believe in myself and put myself out there. I also think women can lose their self identity through years of caring/parenting, and this realisation hits at midlife.
Living this months theme of Active Participation in life
It is difficult being confident in our abilities Janine despite being comfortable with who we are. We can easily fall into the comparision trap, that’s for sure. x
This is timely as it’s something I’m trying to build (my word of the year) – self-respect and pride … and the concept of being enough. These are all things I struggle with – have always struggled with.
I hear you, Jo. I still struggle but have good days and not so good. I hope that you found something of value from the post. We are all here to support each other. x
Hi Sue, this is a hard one isn’t it – though I think I’ve improved in many ways I still have a long way to go and I’m 59 going on 60. I know myself more now and like myself more than I ever have. I think I’m a kind and good person. The passing of my Dad and the decline of my Mum has shown me a strength and loyalty and deep loving kindness that I have within me that I didn’t know was there. I’ve faced the most difficult of circumstances head on because of a deep love and empathy within me. I think I accept and like the person who I am – the fact I’m quiet, introverted (more as I’ve gotten older), sensitive, emotional, empathetic etc. However, I still think that other people are better people than me though. In other words that I’m not enough. I also struggle with accepting how I look. I can have a rather savage and critical inner dialogue. I continue to work on myself though and I think that all the difficult times I’ve been encountering lately will teach me lessons to help improve these things. Hopefully so! Thanks for another thought provoking post Sue and for linking up with #WWWhimsy – take care. xo
Oh Min I wish you could see yourself as other see you. You aren’t alone feeling that way and you’ve certainly been tested over the last few years. I agree that your inner strength and resilience shines through because of the person you are – good, kind, sensitive, emotional and empathetic. Don’t change Min, just believe in yourself. You are beautiful inside and out. x
Always good to be encouraged to find self care and self love along with all that we do/have in our lives as older women.
Your words help shine a light on a path for others.
Take care,
Denyse.
This is great advice, Sue. I have become more accepting of who I am and more compassionate to myself over the years. I believe it’s an ongoing process. I like the idea of challenging negative thoughts and have been practicing that. For example, if I catch myself saying I can’t do something, I question that, and at the very least add “yet” to the end of the sentence.
I really liked this. Being comfortable with who you are sounds simple, but it can take a long time to stop measuring yourself against old expectations or other people’s timelines. The part that stood out to me was the idea of self-care and self-love being something we keep choosing, not something we suddenly master.
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21 Comments
You are really challenging me to think, Sue! There are times I know exactly who I am, and then there are days I really question it. I’m so glad to read I’m not the only one. I think, when you retire, you do lose a bit of who you used to be. So much of my life was taken up by teaching, that I think I lost me for a bit. And, when you blog, every post can’t be about how you’re feeling blah but you’re carrying on. I’ve written my fair share of those! I like all of your participation prompts and am trying hard to do them.
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
Hi Marsha, life is difficult and I agree you can’t always share the ‘not so great’ moments. Sometimes it is good to share on our blogs so that people can relate to our vulnerability but equally they don’t need to know every detail of our lives. x
This is superb advice, Sue – we have to maintain that focus on ourselves.
Thanks, Toni. You are a great supporter and I truly appreciate this. x
Hi Sue. Very inspiring post. I think many women struggle to be “themselves” later in life. They have been so used to being what someone else wanted. This is a good reminder to be true to ourselves.
Thank you, Bren. We need to be true to ourselves although that isn’t always easy to do is it? It’s good to know we aren’t alone though in feeling this way. x
You’ve really hit the nail on the head Sue, this is a great post with so many relevant prompts and reminders. You are a lovely friend and inspiring in so many ways! I hope you’re feeling back to normal now after a few days under the weather.
Thanks so much Deb. I’m finding the challenge challenging actually. Remembering to come up with different prompts for each day. I’m always glad to get feedback though and hopefully know that I’m helping others. x
A very thought provoking post. I usually feel happy and comfortable with who I am and yet I lack confidence to believe in myself and put myself out there. I also think women can lose their self identity through years of caring/parenting, and this realisation hits at midlife.
Living this months theme of Active Participation in life
It is difficult being confident in our abilities Janine despite being comfortable with who we are. We can easily fall into the comparision trap, that’s for sure. x
This is timely as it’s something I’m trying to build (my word of the year) – self-respect and pride … and the concept of being enough. These are all things I struggle with – have always struggled with.
I hear you, Jo. I still struggle but have good days and not so good. I hope that you found something of value from the post. We are all here to support each other. x
Hi Sue, this is a hard one isn’t it – though I think I’ve improved in many ways I still have a long way to go and I’m 59 going on 60. I know myself more now and like myself more than I ever have. I think I’m a kind and good person. The passing of my Dad and the decline of my Mum has shown me a strength and loyalty and deep loving kindness that I have within me that I didn’t know was there. I’ve faced the most difficult of circumstances head on because of a deep love and empathy within me. I think I accept and like the person who I am – the fact I’m quiet, introverted (more as I’ve gotten older), sensitive, emotional, empathetic etc. However, I still think that other people are better people than me though. In other words that I’m not enough. I also struggle with accepting how I look. I can have a rather savage and critical inner dialogue. I continue to work on myself though and I think that all the difficult times I’ve been encountering lately will teach me lessons to help improve these things. Hopefully so! Thanks for another thought provoking post Sue and for linking up with #WWWhimsy – take care. xo
Oh Min I wish you could see yourself as other see you. You aren’t alone feeling that way and you’ve certainly been tested over the last few years. I agree that your inner strength and resilience shines through because of the person you are – good, kind, sensitive, emotional and empathetic. Don’t change Min, just believe in yourself. You are beautiful inside and out. x
Always good to be encouraged to find self care and self love along with all that we do/have in our lives as older women.
Your words help shine a light on a path for others.
Take care,
Denyse.
Thanks so much, Denyse. We are all here supporting and encouraging each other which is comforting x
This is great advice, Sue. I have become more accepting of who I am and more compassionate to myself over the years. I believe it’s an ongoing process. I like the idea of challenging negative thoughts and have been practicing that. For example, if I catch myself saying I can’t do something, I question that, and at the very least add “yet” to the end of the sentence.
Love the idea of adding ‘yet’ to the end of the sentence, Christie. A great way to turn a negative into a positive x
Sue, you catch the soul of your readers! This post is one of my features for this week’s WTJR!
Oh thank you so much Melynda, that is wonderful. I do try to inspire women so hopefully most of my posts do that in some way. Have a lovely weekend. x
I really liked this. Being comfortable with who you are sounds simple, but it can take a long time to stop measuring yourself against old expectations or other people’s timelines. The part that stood out to me was the idea of self-care and self-love being something we keep choosing, not something we suddenly master.