Discover Yourself

Who Needs Negativity? Dare to Dream & Go For It!

January 29, 2016
dare to dream

dare to dreamDo you ever feel as if your life might have been different?  As we reach midlife we have the luxury of time and reflection.  Sometimes we regret certain decisions that we have made or paths we did not take.  However, we have the ability to STILL FOLLOW OUR DREAMS if we want to – it’s never too late!

When I look back on my life and talk with others in my age demographic, I realise that quite a few of us are still seeking ‘approval’ from our family and friends when we should be at a time in our life where we have the courage and self-confidence to ‘be who we are’ and not how others want us to be.

We feel this way perhaps, because of the environment we were brought up in, or the way our education or workplace helped to shape our lives.  However, there must come a time when we say ‘enough is enough’ and we won’t accept the negativity from others who try to hold us back.

I’ve written before about achieving our dreams and not letting others dampen our spirit or the will to achieve.  There will always be those who are critical of anyone who tries to go beyond their normal day-to-day life, because they are afraid to make any changes in their lives. In Australia, we call this the ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’, people like to see achievers fail, because they themselves don’t have the capacity or don’t want to try to achieve their own goals.

Unfortunately, we see that these people are usually friends, or they can be family members and sometimes even partners in life.

There comes a point in life where you need to make a CHOICE!

You can still accept the criticism and be held back OR you can ignore the criticism, not be concerned what others think and live life in positivity and happiness.

Ignore the criticism, don't be concerned what others think & live life in positivity & happiness.Click To Tweet

We are so concerned with what other people think about us that we don’t move forward.  We let go of our dreams and goals because we are too worried about upsetting the status quo.

DON’T BE!

Unfortunately, there will always be those who try to pull you down, because of their jealousy, (because they can’t or won’t try).  Perhaps it is their fear, because they know that if you do follow your dream, there may not be a place for them in your life.

Well who needs negativity!  Get that vision board out and start revisiting and following your dreams!

I started my blog almost a year ago, and I was too embarrassed to tell anyone in case they may have said ‘why would you want to do that?’, ‘what would you have to say?’.  Well after 200 odd posts, guest posts and almost 2,500 positive comments, I think I made the right decision for me by taking the plunge.

As a result, my confidence has soared and I am happy and contented.  I love my life and although I am human (really??? you say!!!), and sometimes don’t feel so ‘sparkly’, I try to look at all that I have and feel grateful.

You can too!

You  may not want to write a blog, you may want to plan a long overdue holiday or you may want to change careers or study.  Whatever your dream, don’t give up on it and certainly don’t let others make you give up.

Yes, as we get older, our bodies may let us down and it is easy to fall into an ‘I’m too old for this’ syndrome.  What we should be doing is trying to find the positives in our lives and concentrating on those.  Who wants to be known as a ‘grumpy old woman or man’?  I certainly don’t!  I’ve had my fair share of those throughout my life and I know they are definitely not fun to be around!!!

Lead by Example

We should be trying to set an example to our children and grandchildren and perhaps also those who have negative attitudes to life.

Would we want our children or grandchildren to hold back from achieving their goals and dreams because of what others might think or say?  Of course not!  So why do we?  Think about it – are you a role model? Perhaps this thought will give you the incentive you need.

You have ONLY ONE LIFE so make the most of it!

Life is too short to be held back by others and the negativity as the saying goes “Don’t let anyone EVER dull your SPARKLE!”

Don't let anyone dull your sparkle

 

Don't let anyone EVER DULL your SPARKLE!Click To Tweet

Let’s Keep Sizzling!

 

 

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52 Comments

  • Reply Cathy Lawdanskk January 29, 2016 at 21:37

    Love this! I have had a very supportive group surround me as I’ve transitioned from my career in the non-profit sector to full-time blogger, but I find I am also more inclined to just go for it despit the naysayers at this age too. Your attitude and words are so inspiring. great post.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 30, 2016 at 09:22

      Oh thank you for your lovely words Cathy and I’m so pleased you enjoyed my post. What a leap of faith you have taken in your career but good for you! We have to be happy and do what we feel is right for us. Best of luck with your new career, I’ll be following.

  • Reply Jenny January 30, 2016 at 09:12

    What a wonderful post! I agree 100%! So many times I have let other people’s negativity affect me, and I am grateful for my husband who is always telling me not to let others pull me down and keep moving forward with my dreams 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 30, 2016 at 09:28

      Hi Jenny! I find it hard not to let others affect me it is a constant battle but we have to try to rise above it and go for our dreams. No one else will do it for us so it is up to us. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have a lovely weekend.

  • Reply Becky January 30, 2016 at 09:24

    You are so right, and so encouraging! I’ve been focusing on following my dreams for years; and I’m SO happy now! I’ve been told my dreams were silly, or too hard to achieve, but I’m just doing what makes me (and my family) happy!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 30, 2016 at 09:34

      Hi Becky! Good for you!!! We need to find our own happiness and try to block out those who are trying to pull us down. It isn’t easy at times but we just keep plugging away and keep focussing on our dreams and goals. Best of luck!

  • Reply Doreen McGettigan January 30, 2016 at 09:41

    I could not agree more and honestly 3-years ago I quietly moved on from family members and ‘friends’ who would never be for me no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I did for them or whatever I accomplished. I didn’t fight with them I just stopped calling and stopped answering. The most important thing I did was to stop banging my head against the wall and expecting a different result.
    Since then I have had my first book become a best seller and my second out this week. It is amazing how your life can change for the positive and much forward traction you can get when you surround yourself with people that are for you.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric January 30, 2016 at 09:47

      Sometimes we just have to take a stand Doreen and although it is difficult if they are family members, we still have to do what is right for us. How wonderful for you that you have had a best seller with another book out this week. If you had let yourself be surrounded by the negativity of others you would never have achieved this – congratulations!

  • Reply Mackenzie Glanville February 1, 2016 at 14:09

    This has to be one of my fav posts of yours, so uplifting!!! you go girl! I just love the way yo motivate me and everyone else xx Thanks for linking up with me too #mg

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 1, 2016 at 16:32

      Oh thank you for your lovely words Mackenzie you always make me feel great about myself. Have a great week. xx

  • Reply Tracey Abrahams February 1, 2016 at 17:06

    I found turning 40 was a great help in being who I wanted to be. Family finally seemed to accept that this is me, Tracey the adult. Before then there was always the expectation that I would ‘grow up’ and suddenly start behaving in a way thst they saw as appropriate for an adult (as in stop getting tattoos, getting silly excited over christmas and a hundred other little things I do that were considered childish). #Mg

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 2, 2016 at 09:27

      It is funny how family still consider you a ‘child’ until 40! We say we won’t be the same as our parents but I still sometimes have to check myself with my own children who are in their 30s and one is a mother. The great thing about turning 40 or even if you are a late bloomer turning 50 is that we become comfortable with the person we are and what others think doesn’t matter as much. Have a great day Tracey and i need to get to your link ups again.

  • Reply OneDizzyBee February 2, 2016 at 10:31

    This resonates with me on so many levels. Though I’m definitely more “myself” now that I’ve turned 50, I realize how much time I wasted when I was younger, trying to please people who, in the end, really didn’t matter enough to require their approval in the first place! I love all the messages in this post. It’s one of those where I sit here thinking, “Gosh, I wish everyone could read this.”

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 4, 2016 at 09:36

      You sound just like me! I always was trying to please others to gain approval – I think there are many of our generation who were like this. Now we are more mature and realise how wonderful we are. Oh I’d love everyone to read this post I’ll just have to keep sharing.

  • Reply laura dove February 3, 2016 at 00:41

    LOVE this! I have really been trying to be more positive and focused on what’s important but as someone who is admittedly an eternal pessimist, this has been hard! Really inspiring post though, just what I needed! #mg

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 4, 2016 at 09:39

      I’m so pleased you were able to take something positive away from my post Laura. Life can be hard sometimes and we can’t be positive all the time. The main thing is we don’t give up and go for want we want despite what others think

  • Reply Kathleen February 3, 2016 at 08:37

    Sue, this post just says it all so well and you hit all the points that resonate. Like my husband said recently ‘choose your own road’ Like don’t just follow because other think that is what you should do.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 4, 2016 at 09:40

      I like your husband’s quote Kathleen! ‘Follow your own road’ it isn’t always easy but worth it when we try. Have a great week!

  • Reply Leanne@crestingthehill February 4, 2016 at 11:54

    Sue I wrote a post on exactly this for publishing sometime in the next few weeks. I have had to learn to turn off the inner critic and stop seeking other people’s approval – I am a work in progress here because it is so ingrained into me – blogging has helped a lot though 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 5, 2016 at 13:30

      Hi Leanne, I had actually written this post before the ‘Incident’ (you know what I mean), and so I read the post for myself after that. The inner critic can be the worst of all but we can conquer it in the end. We can support each other.

  • Reply Sherry Macdonald February 4, 2016 at 21:10

    I love “don’t let anyone dull your sparkle”. I do need to get my vision board back out. I am always working to be better. Thanks for the great post!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 5, 2016 at 13:31

      Thanks Sherry! I’m so pleased you stopped by and I love that quote too! It makes me feel sparkly when I read it. I do hope you visit again.

  • Reply Wendy February 5, 2016 at 07:22

    I absolutely agree with you that we need to tune out as much negativity as possible. Sometimes, unfortunately, that comes from places/people that we cannot just ignore. I have found it necessary to just take a deep breath and remember that positivity and pleasantness are, in fact, a gift, and it is my responsibility to share those when I can. (You, Sue, are doing a fabulous job of this, by the way!) Often I hang up the phone feeling depleted after these conversations. Then I have to give myself that “positive” talk, but it does get tiresome, doesn’t it?

    As for ignoring the naysayers and pursuing your dream, I can say the best thing is when your daughter uses words like “cool” or “inspiring” or “awesome” to describe you or something you have done, haha! Score!! 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 5, 2016 at 13:33

      Oh yes having your daughter thinking you are cool is cool! Thank you for your lovely words Wendy. I do get down and negative like a lot of people but I find that blogging has helped me. As I try to be positive I find that I am. Have a great week and thanks for stopping by. xxx

  • Reply Janine February 5, 2016 at 19:06

    Love this too!!! I try to live without any regrets but there’s still so much I want to do! Keep sparkling!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 6, 2016 at 09:47

      You too Janine! We all have regrets but the main thing is not to dwell on them and get on with the business of living. Have a lovely day and thanks for stopping by.

  • Reply Debbie February 5, 2016 at 20:41

    Recently on a webinar, I heard someone talk about all those misconceptions of being too old or too young.

    The path to our dreams is not a straight line, but with faith and hard work, we can achieve them.

    Lovely post, Sue!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 6, 2016 at 09:48

      Thanks Debbie. I love your thought about ‘path to our dreams is not a straight line’ great way to look at it. Thanks for stopping by to comment and have a lovely day!

  • Reply Mary February 6, 2016 at 15:39

    Great post Sue! I have a good friend who is famous for saying ” Don’t let them steal your Joy”. I remind myself of this often…and now I’m going to remember your sparkle quote as well. Life isn’t over until it is. There
    is lots of living and doing until then.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 7, 2016 at 07:20

      What a lovely quote Mary! ‘Don’t let them steal your joy’ – I like it! There certainly is a lot of living to do and I’m trying to do all I can. Have a great week and lovely to have you back.

  • Reply Lux G. February 6, 2016 at 18:45

    No one can make you feel bad unless you let them. Go, girl. We need this attitude. 🙂 #fridayreflections

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 7, 2016 at 07:15

      Hi Lux! Sometimes it is hard if you are surrounded by negativity but if you can push through and just keep focused on your dream you will succeed and that feeling makes it all worthwhile. Thanks for stopping by and have a lovely day!

  • Reply gigi February 8, 2016 at 22:19

    What a great post (of course) Sue! You are right. Now that we are in midlife, we can have a whole other chance to follow our dreams. I’m trying to infuse those dreams into my life. I still feel shy about a lot of the things I do. Your posts always open my eyes! Thank you Sue!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 9, 2016 at 10:39

      Hi Gigi! I’m so pleased you get so much out of my posts – that is what any blogger wants to hear. Have a lovely week xxx

  • Reply Aletha Oglesby February 9, 2016 at 09:36

    I think the negativity in our society in general spills over into our personal lives. There is little tolerance for “failure” which is often defined as not meeting other people’s expectations of us. Sometimes we even set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, based on wanting approval from others. Last year I was the target of a negative job situation, and had to fight my way out of believing it was justified. Now I am back to a position of acknowledging both my strengths and weaknesses and making the most of them all. Thanks for your encouraging words Sue.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 9, 2016 at 10:41

      Oh I’m so pleased you worked through the job situation Aletha. There are many times when we just take the negativity and accept it as part of our life – when it really has no place in our lives. Thank you for commenting and have a lovely day!

  • Reply Jennifer Abel February 10, 2016 at 09:50

    Great post Sue and so valid. I have recently found but banning negativity in my life the positive shines through . It is all about mindset which I am posting this week on the subject. Much better steer clear of those who bring us down . Thanks for sharing on #overthemoon

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 10, 2016 at 13:14

      Thank you Jen! I have to say it isn’t always easy but it is amazing what can happen when we do try to overcome and ignore the negativity. You are right it is all about mindset! Thanks for stopping by and have a lovely week!

  • Reply Michelle February 13, 2016 at 00:08

    Such a great post. I’ll tell you a secret, well it won’t be now, but I have had to end some relationships due to negativity. My motto – I’m over 50, I’ve earned the right to not have certain people in my life that continually bring me down. It effects our health. So no more. Such a freedom too. Now, obviously there are still people who we can’t easily rid of ourselves of, so I’ve learned and still learning how to deal with them so they don’t rain on my parade. Happy you shared your wisdom at my party this week. Keep them coming!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric February 14, 2016 at 11:46

      Good for you Michelle to have the courage to move on! Thanks again for the opportunity to link up and have a great week!

  • Reply Carol Cassara June 24, 2016 at 21:48

    I spent time recently with a neighbor. She complained the whole time, over and over, aabout everything. I’m just not about any kind of negativity. Why put that energy into the world?

    • Reply Sue Loncaric June 25, 2016 at 09:05

      Oh I know what you mean Carol. My MIL (the now famous Nonna LOL:)) has a friend/neighbour who visits daily. I find myself hiding if I see her because I know if I get caught there will be 2 hours of moaning and complaining to sit through. It is such a shame because she is probably lonely but if she was more positive then people would want to spend time with her.

  • Reply Faye June 24, 2016 at 23:49

    It is NEVER too late…. even as I write, I have a group of girlfriends (including myself) – all in their 40s and 50s – who have stopped what they were doing to follow their dreams. That means quitting decades long careers, moving, minimizing. From start-up companies to the medical field to writing to traveling the world, we are all finally doing what it is we have always wanted to do – but were too scared to before. Now we’ve reached an age where we don’t really care what people think (and, yes, EVERYONE seems to have an opinion) – and every one of us is so much happier.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric June 25, 2016 at 09:11

      Spot on Faye and I love your attitude! I admire women who have taken a leap of faith and said to hell with what others think I’m going for my dream. Life is way too short to not give it a try.

  • Reply Leanne June 25, 2016 at 00:24

    stumbled, pinned and G+’d Sue – I’d already commented a while ago x

    • Reply Sue Loncaric June 25, 2016 at 09:16

      Thank you 🙂

  • Reply Terri Webster Schrandt June 25, 2016 at 00:33

    This is great because, we seem to live in a sea of sarcasm and surrounded by negativity! I blame TV and media. Kids are snarky, young adults are disrespectful and adults are weighed down by pessimism. I have been around enough negative nellies in my life and I refuse to buy in. Thanks for sharing this positive article and brightening all of our days!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric June 25, 2016 at 09:27

      It is hard to remain positive I admit Terri. I too can get caught up in negativity but I find that having the blog helps me try to ‘practice what I preach’. If I can make someone feel hopeful or more positive then I feel great. You are right there is too much negativity in this world. We need to form a Positivity Movement!

  • Reply Silly Mummy June 25, 2016 at 08:26

    Great post and advice – we could all use less negativity!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric June 25, 2016 at 09:32

      Let’s start a Positivity Movement! I know it is hard to be ‘up and motivated’ all the time but I see so much negativity in the world it saddens me. Have a beautiful day!

  • Reply Molly Stevens June 25, 2016 at 11:38

    I am a fan of positivity, Sue, and don’t have a lot of tolerance for exposure to the negative. Probably helps that I am shallow. 🙂 Great post and you have certainly achieved a lot in your first year as a blogger. Congratulations!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric June 26, 2016 at 05:25

      I’m so encouraged Molly by the fact that there are so many Positive people that I have met through blogging. Although the world may be full of negativity the blogging world sure isn’t. Thank you for your best wishes the first year has certainly been a learning curve!

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