Are you constantly dieting? Struggling with weight and self-esteem? An important ingredient to Ageing Well and Living Well is self-love and acceptance. If we don’t love the person we are, then it is difficult to gain respect from others and more importantly to be happy and contented. We’ve all been there and many of us still have self-doubt and lack self-confidence which can hold us back from living a fulfilled life.
My next guest is Kathy Marris, from 50 Shades of Age. I’ve known Kathy through the blogging world for nearly 5 years and although we have only met in person a couple of times, we both share a love of living by the ocean and travel. Kathy shares her story on how she has made peace with herself and the ageing process by following 3 simple philosophies. I’m sure her story will resonate with many of us.
3 simple tips for Ageing Well & Living Well
With so much pressure applied through the media and the misconception that we have to look younger than our years, is it any wonder that we feel inadequate as we get older. We are constantly barraged with images of women in their 50s or 60s looking trim, taut and terrific. However the truth is that once menopause hits us and we start to see the signs of age, it can be very difficult to keep the signs of ageing at bay.
During my life I’ve always struggled with my weight and I’m constantly on a diet. Yes, even in my early sixties I still seem to think that I’d look better if I lost a bit of weight!
In the past I’ve even considered having cosmetic procedures. However, as I’ve got older I’ve finally come to the realization that I don’t really need to take such drastic measures to look younger. I’ve learnt to accept myself just as I am!
My tips for ageing well and living well are very simple:
1. Learn to love the body you’re in.
I’m short and curvy and even though I exercise regularly and watch what I eat I still struggle to keep my weight under control. What I’ve learnt is that this is my size and shape so I’ve stopped comparing myself to everyone else who may be taller and slimmer than me.
What’s most important to me is that I’m healthy and still able to move well. I’m reasonably flexible and I can walk 10 kilometres without too much effort. I feel well most days. My hair and skin is healthy and my teeth are good. I also don’t take any prescribed medications.
So instead of focusing on how I look in the mirror, I tell myself that I’m strong and healthy. I’m able to do a lot of physical things other women my age cannot do. So I’m truly grateful for my body and health.
2. Challenge yourself in new ways.
Most women of my age are retired from work or are only working part-time. I retired last year and immediately set myself a goal of what I wanted to achieve in my retirement. I certainly wasn’t going to sit at home and watch daytime TV. I had a whole list of things I wanted to do!
Probably my biggest goal is to travel whilst I’m still able. I’m actually working my way through a long list of desired travel destinations.
Some of my other goals were to work for a charity, learn to play Lawn Bowls, take on a couple of long walks, take a short course in Photography, attend Yoga or Pilates on a regular basis, spend time with my granddaughter and attend some Cooking Classes.
3. Let go of negativity and regrets.
I believe a lot of people spend far too much time dwelling on the past and become bitter and twisted. If there is something or someone in your past that has made you feel this way you need to let it (or them) go.
Rid yourself of negative and toxic people, move on, and focus on the good things in your life.
I’ve certainly had to do this on a couple of occasions and I can tell you it makes a big difference in achieving a state of happiness in your life. I generally steer away from confrontation and drama, and I try to live a peaceful life. More importantly I make time for myself and I’ve learnt to say no to situations that may ignite drama.
Meet Kathy
Kathy Marris is a 62 year old who has been blogging at 50shadesofage for the past 6 years. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Tweed Coast of New South Wales. She enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, movies, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.
Kathy commenced the blog as a platform to encourage and inspire women of her age. After reaching that milestone age of 50, with kids leaving the nest and feeling unemployable, Kathy felt a big void in her life. It was with this in mind that she decided to start up 50 Shades Of Age – a website where she could reach out to her sisters and tell them that their lives could be so much more. Kathy’s desire is to be the voice for the new-age 50 something year olds to empower and motivate them to travel and see the world!
36 Comments
Great tips – the older I get the less I worry about what others think.
Hi Sheryl, I worried for years about what other people thought and I don’t think I’m alone in being that way. As we age I think that we realise that we need to do what is right for us. Life is short and we shouldn’t sacrifice our happiness because we are scared of what other’s will say. Have a lovely weekend and thanks for stopping by. xx
Hi Sheryl, I think that this a great philosophy. We can only be ourselves and if that isn’t good enough for some people then they’re not worth worrying about!
Hi, Kathy – Great to see you here. I love the tips that you shared — simple and powerful! I especially like tip #1. I’m 4.5 months in on letting my natural hair colour show through. During my recent holidays, a well-intended woman took the opportunity to let me know that my roots were showing. “That’s fantastic,” I said. She gave me the strangest look ever and quickly backed away! 😀
Thank you so much. I’ve been thinking of letting my dark hair slowly go grey as well but I haven’t quite mustered up the courage yet. I see women of my age with salt & pepper hair and I think it looks great. People can be as subtle as a brick at times, pointing out the obvious. You’re a very attractive lady and I think you would look great with some natural silver highlights through your hair.
Hi Kathy, What wonderful advice and thank you for sharing your story. I’ve finally learned to rely on my own opinion of myself and also not to make excuses for and tolerate other people’s toxic behaviour.
That’s heartening to hear Toni. I think the older we get the less we’re likely to put up with nonsense and people who are a waste of our time. I think there’s a lot of merit in self-love.
Hi Kathy and Sue, another great post from another amazing woman! I admire you so much Kathy, your blog, your message and your acceptance of things – your advice here is spot on! You are looking great and obviously feeling it too so I’m glad you’re now relying on your own opinion, it can take some time to come to terms with how things are. Keep on doing what you’re doing. Thanks Sue for sharing another excellent blogger in your series.
Hi Debbie, thank you for your lovely comments. We’re all amazing women! Yes it does take time and maturity to accept how we are, but I’m so glad that I’ve reached that stage of my life. Now it’s time for living!
I think that I have learnt acceptance of myself in my more mature years (I’m storming towards 70, not sizzling at 60 anymore!) life is good, I have the energy and health (with little blips) to enjoy new challenges and make new friends. Life is good!
This seems to be the common theme for we over 50s women. We finally work out that we need to love the body we’re in and get on with our lives. It’s great to hear that life is good for you Catherine. Keep embracing it!
I truly enjoyed this article!! I am recently retired after having knee replacement surgery and am slowly gaining my mobility back.. I am still defining my new life style and loving it and was thrilled to celebrate my 62nd Birthday as now I am finally eligible for all my retirement monetary benefits that i worked so hard for!! I hope you have a great weekend and thanks so much for sharing this great information!!
Hugs,
Debbie
I’m so glad you enjoyed this Debbie. It’s good to hear that you’re recovering well from your surgery and getting up and about again. I love that you have a “can do” attitude and that you’re looking forward to retirement. I found it to be a period of adjustment but I’ve finally found some purpose in my life and I’m loving not having to work for a living.
Hi Kathy – Great to see you here. Your tips are spot on. The time that anyone spends on regrets or negativity means that person is not enjoying the present and that’s a loss that s/he can prevent from happening. #lifethisweek
Thank you Natalie. It’s not about looking like we’re thirty anymore. It’s about being healthy and enjoying our lives.
Hi Kathy – lovely to see you over here on Sue’s blog. I love all three of your tips and I think if we were all kinder to ourselves and stopped basing our self-worth on what social media tells us, we’d all be a lot happier. I’m so glad you’ve found your way through all of this and the whole getting rid of toxic people thing is a huge part of it. Leaving my toxic workmate behind last year was the best thing I could have done for my mental/emotional/physical health and I haven’t regretted it for a moment.
Hi Leanne, you and I are both on the same page as far as removing ourselves from toxic people. Although I’m still being bullied from afar from one ex-friend, I’ve taken the high road and I simply ignore her nasty comments. It has been difficult to rebuild my life but I’ve managed to do it and I’m a far happier person for it.
I think the problem for many of us is that we wait to travel until we have the time or money and by then we’re getting older and it’s more of a hassle. My parents weren’t travellers and my brother and I inherited that from them. My bro travels a bit but that’s been forced upon him by his wife and daughter and I’m sure he appreciates it.
I worked overseas for a few years so had the opportunity to see some of Africa and SE Asia during that time, and later the Pacific (with work) but am such a homebody now.
I really enjoyed my Italy trip in 2018 though and – immediately after anyway – I was keen to do more travel. Yet again though I guess I’m bogged down, conscious I need to put spare money on my mortgage etc rather than spending it.
I’ve gained some weight since Italy as I spent 10-12mths unemployed and home a lot. I deal with emotional stuff by compulsively eating so I’m now trying to dig myself out of the hole I created during that time… when I already had weight to lose. But, I’m trying to think of it as a lifestyle thing – getting and being healthier – rather than COMPLETELY about my weight.
Hi Deb, yes I agree that some people do wait until they’re too old to travel. My husband and I started to travel in our early 50s and will continue to do so until we’re too old. Too many people are focused on earning a living and not really enjoying their lives. I think striking a balance is the key. It’s good to hear that you’re paying attention to your health instead of your weight. It can become too obsessive.
Great tips! Nothing good ever comes of comparing yourself to others, I’m so glad I learnt this one a while back!
Good for you Di. I wished I’d learnt this a lot earlier.
It’s so unfair sometimes how hard we work at staying fit and healthy (or, in my case getting fit and healthy) and yet the numbers are going to always be against us when it comes to the whole in out equation & height & age. I’ve always admired your fitness & zest for the outdoors, Kathy… I’m on a massive Excess Baggage thing – not because I don’t love my body but because I do…sometimes I think there’s a difference.
Yes it is Jo. I have a friend who eats what she likes and rarely exercises and she is slim and can give me a run for my money doing the stairs at Burleigh National Park. I love the outdoors and I love walking, so it’s easy for me to keep fit. However the weight never comes off despite my best efforts. It is more important to be fit and healthy than a number on the scales.
Great tips, Kathy! They’re all easy to put into practice in small ways at first and then .. who knows? The sky’s the limit.
One of the things I love most about ageing is that getting of confidence and being comfortable in our own skin.
SSG xxx
Yes I agree. I’m so much more comfortable in my own skin now that I’m older. Mostly I don’t really care what others think of me and I’m happy to not wear makeup or straighten my hair when I go out.
These are great tips Kathy. I Ha ridyself of the negative people in my life and can say that it makes a huge difference not to be surrounded by that negativity. Great guest post Sue.
Thanks Jennifer. It isn’t all about the physical wellness as we age, but also about our mental wellness. I’ve certainly learnt that to be happy you do need to distance yourself from toxic and negative people.
Hi Kathy,
Being comfortable in our own skins is so important. I struggle with opposite issues than you…I am tall and thin and feel like I always look gawky and awkward. It seems we are never happy with ourselves, and I do agree that it is media and society pressures that make us so. But something miraculous happens in our “third age” and these things seem to fade in importance. I’m much more focused on simply feeling well and working on things (food, exercise, and de-stressing) that make me healthy.
Hi Nancy, yes it certainly is. I have a tall thin friend and she also complains about her body shape. As I’ve aged I feel that although my body is not perfect it does look ok and it allows me to do most things I want to do. For that I’m truly grateful. I believe feeling grateful for what you have instead of what you haven’t got, is the key to happiness.
Hi Sue and Kathy and thanks for sharing Kathy’s tips. I too find Kathy’s lifestyle and ideas for the ‘now’ in our lives is the way to go. I spent far too much time worrying about what others think and probably no-one ever did think anything anyway! I am told everyone is just interested in themselves anyway. I like your way of beginning to find the balance in this newer way of living since stopping work. i know it took me time..and then I got cancer …but I do have a greater appreciation of enjoying now as a result. Lovely post ladies!! Thank you for linking up for Life This Week #174. Next week’s optional prompt is 6/51 Interesting 10.2.2020. Hope to see you again there too. Denyse.
I think we are all coming around to that way of thinking Denyse. Perhaps it is wisdom that we achieve as we age and knowing that life is short so we had better start enjoying it. I still struggle to find balance but I’ve accepted that that is my personality. I’m driven and need something to work towards otherwise I feel discontented. I just take things a little slower these days but I could never stop. That’s the secret for me. x
Hi Denyse, I agree! I’m sure most people are only thinking about themselves rather than how we appear. I spent so much of my younger years worried about appearances that I’m now done with that. You either accept me as I am or not. I really do like the fact that I’ve learnt self acceptance and that being grateful is the key to happiness.
I was so glad to read about the shift in focus from weight to health, from aesthetics to ability. Such great health should be celebrated! Enjoy the many great things you have, I think, rather than chase that last 5 kg or whatever it is. I appreciate you both for sharing your perspective on this.
Yes I think as women we’re becoming a lot more aware of body image and self love. Health is the new wealth!
I know this was written several weeks ago, but I just read it. Thank you for sharing those ideas. I think they are all beneficial. I think “Letting go” is particularly helpful.
Hi Michele, Letting go isn’t easy sometimes but if we do we actually feel a burden is lifted. I know I do. xx